The cryptocurrency market, that ever-volatile darling of the modern age, has taken a dive so deep that it’s practically borrowing pearls from the ocean floor. A cool $240 billion — yes, billion, old chap — has done a Houdini act and vanished in just a day, sending the market capitalization to its lowest since November. I dare say the number-crunchers are reaching for the smelling salts!
In what can only be described as a most unsporting turn of events, Ethereum, the plucky favorite, found itself losing its hat, coat, and trousers. A 16% nosedive over 12 short hours had it staggering from $2,140 to a paltry sub-$1,800. As of now, it’s limping along at $1,860, looking like it’s just run a marathon in brogues. Poor dear.
ETH Death? Or Just a Dramatic Pause? 🤔
Picture this: the last time our dear Ethereum was mucking about below $1,800 was October 2023. A simpler time, really — when ETH was dusting itself off from a bear market nap that lasted two years. Now, there’s some chatter that a double-top chart pattern is forming, which sounds dreadfully ominous. Analysts are clutching their charts and muttering about ETH potentially dropping to $1,200. One can almost hear the violins.
To add insult to injury, Ethereum is already down a gut-wrenching 62% from its all-time peak in 2021. The ETH/BTC ratio is now so low (0.023 for those keeping score) that one would need a magnifying glass to spot it — the lowest it’s been since December 2020. Even plucky Dogecoin managed to lose more today, proving that sometimes, there’s just no honor among coins.
But wait, it gets better! Those dastardly whales — the chaps with enough ETH to fill a swimming pool — seem to be offloading at $2,000, presumably to avoid margin calls of the most egregious variety. Perhaps they’ve decided to retire and open a whale-watching tour instead?
Meanwhile, Crypto Twitter is absolutely aflame with the kind of Schadenfreude rarely seen since the Great Dogecoin Slide of Yesteryear. Traders are licking their wounds while throwing the most imaginative insults at each other. Truly, it’s a festival out there. 🎭
Ethereum Testnet Tampered With 😤
And just when you thought things couldn’t get more melodramatic, along comes a mysterious villain who decided to mess with Ethereum’s Pectra testnet, sending zero-token transfers and gumming up the works. Picture a banquet where plates arrive empty while the chef grins smugly in the background.
However, one of Ethereum’s knights, a certain Marius van der Wijden, announced that the mess had been sorted out — though the developers kept mum about the fix to throw off the prankster:
“We suspected that the attacker was reading some of our chats, so we decided not to publicize the fix, but only update a few nodes that we controlled in order to get more full blocks on the network.”
Bravo, Marius, old sport! Let no one say Ethereum lacks its heroes, even in the depths of despair. 🦸♂️
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2025-03-11 11:03