The U.S. Department of Justice, clearly unimpressed by tales of “Next Generation Banking,” is advocating for a rather dramatic 20-year residency—complete with stripes and steel—at Chez Penitentiary for one Mr. Alex Mashinsky, once the sparkling toast of Celsius. Prosecutors claim dear Alex conducted a fraud so grand it clocks in at a cool $4.7 billion—no doubt enough to make even the most seasoned Bond villain clutch his pearls.
Apparently, Mashinsky regaled investors with bedtime stories about the safety and golden returns of Celsius’s ship, only for the vessel to hit an iceberg harder than Leo’s love life in Titanic.
The DOJ, gathering the torches and pitchforks of public sentiment, is determined to make Mashinsky the poster child for, let’s say, “crypto accountability.”
Call it a teachable moment for the industry—or just a very expensive lesson in not misplacing a few billion dollars. Either way, he’ll soon have a lot of time to ponder interest rates of a less glamorous variety. 🚔📉
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2025-04-29 14:41