Entertainment

After weeks of the weirdest “Will they?/Won’t they?” on television, Mike White’s two favorite sons finally Lock-ied lips, even if they haven’t had Sex-on … yet. Actually, they kissed twice. Toward the end of White Lotus season three episode five, Lochlan (Sam Nivola) and Saxon (Patrick Schwarzenegger), in the throes of a non-specific high, end up back in a room with Chloe (Charlotte Le Bon) and Chelsea (Aimee Lou Wood), who they’ve been attempting to flirt with for several episodes now. Lochlan whispers to Saxon and Chloe and Chelsea (not sisters) kiss. Saxon gets Lochlan and Chloe (not siblings) to kiss. Finally, with minor cajoling from the girls, Lochlan walks over to Saxon and gives him a peck on the lips. Then, a real kiss. There was definitely no tongue but lots of effort.

The use of AI in film and TV remains pretty controversial among viewers, though. Netflix’s February documentary about the late Gabby Petito faced criticism on social media for recreating her voice with AI, even though the directors said they received permission from her family. Before that, The Brutalist’s use of AI to enhance Hungarian dialogue and generate some architectural drawings and buildings became contentious during the 2025 Oscar season. Brutalist star Adrien Brody acknowledged that “even just the mention of AI is a bit triggering,” but attempted to assuage concerns by clarifying that none of the technology employed replaced people’s work.

It’s funny to think about any kind of repression being an issue in the Gemstone family, which generally allows itself to indulge in the sins (and the language) it condemns on Sundays, but when considering the idea of their father taking up with another woman, Jesse, Kelvin, and Judy are as grossed out as they would have been as schoolchildren. “Could you even imagine if Daddy met someone new?” says Kelvin. “Yucky ducks!” Even though the children find plenty of evidence that their dad has been drinking and carousing on a boat in the Florida Keys, the thought of Eli taking up with someone other than their dead mother is so impossible that they accept his explanation that he uses a bra to catch fish. “All your dick juices are gone,” says Judy, “’cause Mama’s got ’em in a jar up in heaven.”

While Rockwell’s appearance was a surprise to viewers, with his role otherwise unmentioned in the lead-up to the show, we maybe should have seen this coming by one telltale clue: Leslie Bibb. The two have been together since 2007, and rarely is one without the other. They met while shooting Iron Man 2 and worked together in the film Don Verdean. Rockwell had been conspicuously absent from Bibb’s behind-the-scenes photos on Instagram from her months shooting in Thailand, though maybe he was off filming something of his own. But knowing them and their love for each other, it was only a matter of time until he popped up.

The D&D comes up again later in the episode, and though it’s relatively inconspicuous, it feels representative of the general humor the show is desperately trying to inject these characters with. It’s not charming or endearing; these little comedic bits feel so out of place precisely because they’re filled with cultural references that are unnatural and tacked on. There are shows that are funny and shows that are intelligent and witty; Suits LA is neither while secretly deluding itself into thinking that it is both.

Sure, some of the funniest and most compelling moments in the Housewives canon involve these dark figures (Shannon Beador lying on her “grave” as David reads her obituary without any trace of a soul in his eyes immediately comes to mind), but just once it would be great to look at a couple and truly think, “Wow, I can’t wait to get married one day.” Or, I don’t know, at least hear a wife tell her husband she loves him without the possibility of hearing a response like, “I know … and love is important,” like Brit’s hubby said to her. But hey, it’s not like we rely on Bravo as an exemplar of healthy relationships. The whole episode is littered with uncomfortable relationship moments as the dust settles on the premiere, and we dig beneath the surface. It narrowly escaped a two-star rating only because it lays the foundation for so much of the forth-coming drama.

What frightens Joe is Ye’iitsoh, a monstrous entity in Navajo folklore. In the show, Ye’iitsoh is depicted as a gigantic sort of humanoid, with clawed fingers and a draped fur that is slightly reminiscent of Bigfoot. In the first episode of season three, Joe and his Sergeant Jim Chee (Kiowa Gordon) point out that its mythos resembles Mexican folklore’s La Llorona, in just one of a few instances throughout the season that approximate the Indigenous and Chicano cultures of the Southwest. We get more of this intersection through Agent Bernadette Manuelito (Jessica Matten), Joe’s former Sergeant, Chee’s erstwhile lover, and newly installed U.S. Border Patrol and Customs agent, now stationed in Hachita, New Mexico.

When our castaways were cruising on the hotel junk rig in the season premiere, internecine feuding felt inevitable. The Ratliffs were peeved by Rick’s cigarette smoke; Chelsea was disappointed by how easy it was to provoke her boyfriend’s temper. Jaclyn, Laurie, and Kate — immediately reverting back to the bitchy girls who ruled Nowhere High together — sniggered at the scene from behind designer sunnies. One drawback with an intimate spa resort is that the people you meet at check-in are the same ones sharing your sound bath.

The White Lotus Kill-or-Be-Killed Report is a weekly check-in with the guests and employees at this cursed hotel chain to speculate who’s most likely to murder, and/or end up murdered, following this week’s episode, “Full Moon Party.”

Spoilers follow for The White Lotus season three episode five, “Full Moon Party.”