Giant Snakes Are No Match for Middle-Age Malaise

Okay, so this reboot—directed by the guy who did The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent—had a really cool idea, and honestly, if the whole movie had lived up to it, it would have been perfect holiday viewing. But it’s all concept and… not no execution, exactly, but it feels so muddled and like it was seriously tinkered with after it was filmed. I keep wanting to blame Jack Black, and it’s not because he’s bad! He’s great, but he’s become such a family-friendly star that I swear this movie was either reworked or completely recut to aim for a PG-13 rating and cash in on his popularity. I don’t have proof, but it really feels that way. For starters, every time the anaconda attacks someone—and this snake is seriously menacing to the film crew lost in the Amazon—the editing is so jumpy and quick, it’s hard to even tell if anyone is actually getting killed. It totally kills any chance of building even the simplest, cheesy suspense.






