Thompson, the relentless prophet of despair, expects no swift cataclysm, no dramatic crash to at least offer a swift end. Nay, he envisions a gradual erosion, a torturous grind that will gnaw at the souls of investors, leaving them hollow-eyed and bereft. He speaks of a slow march towards the fifty to sixty thousand range—a precipitous fall from the dizzying heights of one hundred and nine thousand! A tragedy worthy of the grandest opera! 🎭
Amidst this tumultuous ballet of bears and bulls, the key investors are attempting to play the role of the heroic savior, striving valiantly to turn the tide of despair into a tale of triumph.
Yes, Charles Hoskinson—master of the universe—says Ripple’s looking to bring in their biggest stablecoin, RLUSD, to the Cardano blockchain. What a twist!
According to the august market intelligence platform IntoTheBlock, the Large Transactions Volume on the Toncoin network has been ascending to hitherto uncharted peaks with remarkable frequency. 📈
On 30 March, some crypto guru, TheKingfisher—I mean, is this a person or a fishing show?—puts Bitcoin at $82,621.9. Did they measure this with a ruler? Whatever. Apparently, Bitcoin is stuck like a pickle between “opposing liquidation zones.” Sounds fancy, but basically, it’s like a tug-of-war with money.
In the last 24 hours, it hit a high of $0.7535 and a low of $0.6806. Talk about a rollercoaster ride! 🎢 But wait, there’s more! Pi Coin has taken a 22% nosedive in the last week and a staggering 60% plunge over the past month. Ouch! 😱 It’s like watching your favorite sitcom get canceled after one season—just painful. So, while some market watchers are cautiously optimistic, others are just trying to figure out if they should invest or just buy a lottery ticket instead. 🎟️
Imagine, if you will, a hot wallet, akin to a bustling marketplace stall for digital trinkets. From this stall, Tether has spirited away 8,888 BTC. At the time of this audacious act, these tokens were valued at approximately $735 million. A trifle, perhaps, for some, but a king’s ransom for most of us mere mortals.
On the Ides of March (31st, to be precise), the Kentucky Department of Financial Institutions filed a joint stipulation of dismissal, thereby laying to rest its contentious claim that Coinbase’s staking services constituted unregistered securities. The drama, it seems, has been temporarily stifled 🎭.
From stock swaps to crypto capers, everyone’s eyes are glued to “Liberation Day,” a most curious carnival on April 2, when President Trump is expected to unveil a staggering 20% tariff on over 25 countries as a so-called “reciprocal tariff.” This tariff tango will twist the fate of $1.5 trillion worth of imports by April 2025. Good grief, that’s a hefty heap of hooey!
Ethereum’s DEXes racked up a whopping $64.616 billion in trading volume, making Solana’s $52.62 billion look like chump change. That’s a 22% difference, folks! Ethereum’s like the cool kid who just got back from summer vacation, and everyone wants to be friends again.