It is with no small measure of astonishment that one learns of the recent tribulations besetting the esteemed Rosseti Group, the very purveyor of electrical sustenance in Russia. The company has, alas, reported losses that exceed the staggering sum of 1.3 billion rubles—an amount that, in the currency of the West, translates to a rather … Read more
Bybit, in a grand spectacle of justice, has frozen a staggering $42.89 million in dubious funds, rallying the troops of the crypto realm to thwart the nefarious schemes of fraudsters. In a swift and decisive maneuver, they also put a stop to a $26 million meme token laundering escapade. 🎭 In a remarkable display of … Read more
In the grand theater of financial markets, where fortunes are made and lost with the flick of a wrist, we find ourselves observing a curious spectacle: the noble gold, that glimmering relic of human aspiration, has taken flight, soaring ever higher, while the once-mighty Bitcoin languishes in the shadows, as if caught in a dream … Read more
Oh, lookie here! VanEck has cooked up a scheme so outlandish, it’s like saying leprechauns will pay off the national debt. They claim that if the U.S. hoards a million Bitcoin, it could chop off a whopping $21 trillion from the debt by 2049! These analysts must have been eating their fairy dust for breakfast, … Read more
So, let me get this straight. Bitcoin ETFs in the U.S. are about as popular as a root canal right now. Seriously, it’s like everyone just decided to take a long vacation from buying. Where did all the excitement go? Did it get lost in the couch cushions or something? 🛋️ February? Oh boy, it’s … Read more
The illustrious crypto derivatives trading platform, Bybit, has deigned to illuminate the murky waters of the Japanese yen carry trade in 2025, as the Bank of Japan (BoJ) contemplates its next grandiose policy shift. 🕵️♂️ Per their sage report, the yen’s hallowed status as a primary funding currency in the foreign exchange (FX) market is … Read more
The Great Ethereal Rollercoaster 🎢 In the grand cosmic dance of cryptocurrency, Ethereum has been doing what it does best: giving its investors whiplash. 💫 The price has been bouncing around like a hyperactive neutrino, recently hitting a resistance zone that’s stiffer than a Vogon’s sense of humor. Technical Analysis by Shayan, the Oracle of … Read more
Ah, dear reader, we find ourselves yet again in the swirling maelstrom of cryptocurrency, where fortunes are made and lost with the rapidity of a sparrow’s flight! Lo and behold! The Pi Network, after what feels like an eternity of whispered promises and delayed dreams, has birthed its Open Network and the much-anticipated PI token, … Read more
In the dusty corners of the digital frontier, where the wild winds of change blow fiercely, cryptocurrency has taken root like a stubborn weed in a farmer’s field. Binance Pay, that sprightly little rascal, has seen its user base swell like a summer river after a rainstorm, reaching a staggering 41.7 million souls in 2024. … Read more
Ethena Labs’ exposure to Bybit? Zilch, nada, zero! USDe stablecoin? As safe as a snuggly sloth in a tree. Ethena Labs, the wizard behind the synthetic dollar protocol, has waved its magic wand and made its unrealized profit and loss (PNL) exposure to Bybit disappear into thin air! Poof! Gone like a sneaky magician’s rabbit. … Read more