Crypto News

Rogan, once a respectable figure lurking around Sutherland Shire and Wollongong, decided to spice up her career with a scheme that misrepresented cryptocurrency investments as “fixed income.” Less fixed, more fiction, apparently. Over a gruesome span of exactly three years and two months, she managed to shuffle a staggering $14.8 million from her clients into her personal control—or what’s left of it—most of which was swiftly transformed into digital tokens and transferred to wallets that scream “Untrustworthy.” ASIC’s investigators certainly did not find her hospitality toward client funds very hospitable. 🧐

On this fateful Thursday, our dear RESOLV (RESOLV) plummeted from a lofty high of $0.4108 to a mere $0.29, leaving traders and analysts scratching their heads in bewilderment. What sorcery is this? The steep correction has ignited a flurry of scrutiny regarding the token’s launch dynamics, as if it were a play gone awry! 🎭

Now, the Dogecoin ETF, which is as popular as a towel in a hitchhiker’s backpack, is backed by none other than Coinbase Custody. This delightful little financial contraption promises to give investors access to Dogecoin without the hassle of actually holding the cryptocurrency. It was originally filed on March 3, 2025, which, if you’re keeping track, is a date that sounds suspiciously like a sci-fi movie plot. The public comment period has been extended, presumably to allow more time for people to express their bewilderment and existential dread.

Now, the upper band is perched at a tantalizing $2.38, a mere 6% above our current levels. Should we witness a clean surge into that range, we’d be in the “do” scenario—a breakout toward higher ground, indicating that our buyers have returned to the stage! Bravo! 👏

Now, let’s not beat around the bush. This little dip comes amidst a broader crypto market meltdown, spurred on by the latest US CPI data released on June 11. It seems the bulls, who were once frolicking in the fields of optimism, have failed to keep the momentum going. Perhaps they were too busy daydreaming about their ETF approval, which, by the way, is sitting at a rather optimistic 51% chance by year-end. Talk about wishful thinking! 🎈

On a fine Thursday, Tether Investments announced they’ve acquired a whopping 78,421,780 common shares of Elemental (ELE) from La Mancha Investments. That’s 31.9% of Elemental’s issued and outstanding shares, in case you were wondering. And the price? A mere $1.55 Canadian dollars ($1.14) per share. All in all, Tether is out about $89.4 million. Chump change, right? 💸

Today, the token saw a dramatic drop to $3.15, a 4.67% decline on a volume that could drown a ship—3.65 million! Yet, like a phoenix, it attempts to rise from the ashes, facing a new resistance at $3.24. 🦅

As the crypto markets experienced a slight decline on the twelfth day of June, reducing the total market cap by a modest 2.44%, the altcoin sector has been gallantly rallying, as if to declare, “Fear not, for we shall rise!” The gains of Bitcoin (BTC) have emboldened traders to embrace risk with the fervor of a young lady at a ball, eager for a dance.

Needless to say, Fartcoin is the belle of the ball among the new listings. With a market cap of $1.34B, it’s the second-largest Solana meme coin, just behind the ever-controversial $TRUMP. Who knew flatulence could be so profitable? 💨💸

While many of these coins are built on the shaky foundations of hype, they have managed to attract a motley crew of investors, all eager to partake in the whimsical ride. It’s a classic case of grassroots movements outshining the stuffy old institutions, proving that sometimes, the best way to influence market dynamics is with a good chuckle and a meme or two.