Crypto News

The analyst, in his infinite wisdom, points to the descending channel that has dominated XRP’s path for weeks now, as if it were some kind of cosmic force pulling the crypto into its orbit. But, fear not, for the moment the price dares to close above this pesky line, the chart opens like a door to a new world, beckoning XRP toward the mid-$2.7 region. It’s like waiting for the train to pull out of the station. Do you have your ticket? Better hurry, the train’s almost leaving! 🕒

Apparently, this shrinking act is just one of the many circus tricks the market’s pulling to tighten the supply of available coins. 🤹♂️💰 Who knew Bitcoin could be so dramatic?

Binance’s eagle-eyed investors are probably thinking, “Great, now it’s a tag team. Do they fight crime or just fight over who gets the biggest office?”

Bitcoin, that grumpy dragon hoarding digital treasure, is still the market’s “reserve asset.” But try using it to buy a sandwich without crying. Block times crawl slower than a bureaucrat on vacation, fees spike like a hypochondriac’s panic attack, and programmability? A patchwork quilt of duct tape and dreams. 🐉

For months, rollups were effectively throwing a crypto party in Ethereum’s data space, all without leaving a tip. But Fusaka, the great rescuer, steps in, raising the minimum blob price to something a little more in line with the actual cost of verifying data. A hefty increase? Hardly! Sure, the rise looks as though it’s jumped by millions (cue gasps of horror), but really, it’s just leveling the playing field. After all, when you’ve been paying peanuts for so long, even the smallest upgrade seems like a luxury!

An equally dramatic saga unfolds in a Floridian judicial theater, where the Third District Court of Appeal, graced on the 3rd of December by the stenographers of Bloomberg, has permitted the curious case against Binance to persist. The plot thickens as it is argued that Binance Holdings Inc., a creature of the distant shores, has laid sufficient infrastructural tendrils within the U.S. to make the courts of Miami-Dade County pulse with anticipation. 🤫

Ministers are reportedly gossiping about banning crypto gifts to parties like it’s 2008 and Bitcoin’s the new subprime mortgage. The Elections Bill? More like the “Let’s Panic About Digital Money” Bill. 💸

With PeerDAS now live (yes, that’s a thing), ETH has blown right past the $3,200 resistance zone. Traders are sitting on the edge of their seats, wondering if this thing can keep going, or if it’s just another crypto hype cycle. But who knows, right? 🤷‍♂️

For Nassim Eddequiouaq, CEO of Bastion, this is not merely a milestone-it is the resounding clac of a vision finally finding its shoe. For years, he has peddled the dream of regulated, enterprise-grade stablecoins that could outmaneuver a Parisian traffic jam at rush hour. Now, Sony Bank is his muse!

Per the indignant industry group, the broadcaster’s reportage leaned on a one-sided narrative, fixating on criminal shenanigans and price fluctuations while ignoring the more mundane, yet equally vital, applications of Bitcoin. “Surely,” they might have muttered, “a ledger system with such promise deserves more than to be painted as the digital equivalent of a banana skin!”