Crypto News

The shutdown, effective at 11:00 AM on Friday, left ten cryptocurrencies orphaned in the USDT market, presumably sobbing into their digital wallets.

The firm, ever the poet of the digital age, shared its grand vision via X on Wednesday, declaring the fund will nurture projects with “innovative value” propositions-like a gardener tending to digital orchids. 🌸

My dear, the Pi Network token has been ever so busy, recording new gains on Tuesday. A 6% increase in 24 hours? Really, it’s all quite the spectacle. One can hardly keep up with these crypto shenanigans! 🤑

Ah, the wise technical indicators – those oracle-like scribblings on a trader’s parchment – tell us that Bitcoin (BTC) is trading below key moving averages. What does this mean, you ask? Why, it means the broader trend remains under pressure, like a bear with a bad attitude. And so, the chart analysts nod sagely, as if they’ve discovered a great secret of the universe.

The Minneapolis-based colossus now pilots a dollar-backed stablecoin upon the shoulders of Stellar, a venture that may yet ignite the dormant embers of institutional adoption and bolster the faltering spirits of XLM as the year draws to its close. One might say, with a wink and a nod, that the banks have finally discovered the internet-or perhaps they’ve merely realized it’s too late to retreat. 🚀

Not quite yet, my friend. To paint the town red in a bullish hue, XRP must majestically leap beyond $2.55. Alas, the volume indicator, that staid old thing called OBV, suggests the buyers are about as enthusiastic as a cat at a bath. 🛁🐱

Despite the naysayers clucking about declining network usage and shrinking DeFi liquidity-how très banal-there’s a certain je ne sais quoi in the air. Fresh technical signals and upcoming ecosystem catalysts suggest our beleaguered blockchain might just be priming itself for a triumphant recovery. Or, at the very least, a mildly entertaining spectacle. 🎭💫

Ah, the bitter fruits of love and blockchain! In a twist that would make even the most jaded soul chuckle, Lachy Groom, venture capitalist and former flame of Sam Altman, found himself at the center of a heist so audacious, it reeks of Hollywood script gone wrong. Police sources confirm: $11 million in ETH and BTC vanished into the ether, quite literally. And who spilled the beans? None other than those well-versed in the romantic sagas of the tech elite. 🌉💔

Here’s the master plan, in Tina Fey style: XRP’s gotta go through a series of ridiculous milestones. First, a quick leap to $11.25, then a laughably tame jump to $22.50 (like, “oh, that’s cute”), and then-just when you think it’s peaking-BOOM-$45, then $90, then $135, and finally $225. Basically, it’s like climbing a staircase that’s more like a giant slide with a speed boost at every step. As ETF money floods in like your entire family on Black Friday, XRP’s price perks up, scales mountains, and probably has a few hangovers along the way. And all that, despite XRP’s current mood-dipping 1.8% in a day and feeling kind of blah over the past two weeks. Correct me if I’m wrong, but short-term dips are just the market’s way of saying, “I’ve got bigger plans, don’t worry.”

Crypto-linked stocks are feeling the heat as the market tightens its belt and investors get cold feet. But Cathie? She’s out here with her risk appetite on full display, going long like it’s her job (oh wait, it is). On Tuesday, November 25, Ark Invest expanded its crypto portfolio, adding Block, Circle, and Coinbase to its already spicy lineup. Because apparently, bear markets are just discount shopping seasons for her. 🛍️🐻