In a chat with Kitco News (because where else would you discuss the apocalypse of precious metals?), Gilburt, the brain behind Elliottwavetrader, spilled the tea: the metals’ decade-long rave is nearing its last call. 🍸✨ Sure, gold and silver might still shimmy higher in the coming months, but don’t get too attached-Gilburt’s here to remind us that all good things (and bad investments) must end.
In a memo dripping with the gravitas of a parish newsletter, Fundstrat-those stalwarts of financial wisdom-warned of “choppy markets” and a potential dip to the $60K-$65K zone. Sean Farrell, their Crypto Strategy Head (a title as grandiose as it is baffling), muttered something about ETF exhaustion and miner selling. How dreadfully tedious. 😴
Observe, dear reader, the five zeros that follow its decimal point like a troupe of clowns in a farce! 🎪 Yet, months past, this was not so. A simpler time, when but four zeros adorned its price, a mere quartet of nothingness.
Key Takeaways (A Tragic Comedy)
At the heart of this argument is the esteemed Mr. Michael Saylor, who hath recently averred that quantum computing does not threaten Bitcoin with immediacy. His logic, rooted in the grand scale and coordination, suggests that a machine sufficiently mighty to shatter Bitcoin’s cryptography would also threaten governments, banks, and the entire infrastructure of worldly commerce. Should that ever arrive, he promises, a grand concerted response across industries would be orchestrated, with standards of quantum resistance being adopted in unison-like a well-choreographed dance. 💃
And while we’re all excited about this canine coin, let’s not forget the rest of the cryptocurrency market, which is currently doing its best impression of a sleepy puppy. Bitcoin (BTC) is hanging in there above $88,000, but let’s be honest, it’s about as thrilling as watching paint dry. 🎨
Imagine, dear reader, 81.5 trillion SHIB tokens lounging around on exchanges, doing nothing much but collecting dust – and serving as the monstrous barrier that prevents any upward spurt from being more than a flicker. When these tokens try for a bounce, they are greeted with a veritable Wall of Jericho. The proud, long-term holders-those who bought high and now stand atop their mountain of regret-can unload even the tiniest upward nudge. In plain English, the demand isn’t exactly knocking down the door. Nope, the market’s demand has the enthusiasm of a slug at a sprint race. When demand isn’t eager, supply gets its way, and SHIB remains a prisoner to its own size-like a giant trying to squeeze into a dollhouse.
CC, the native token, has sprouted wings, soaring 11% in 24 hours-a phoenix rising from the ashes of market indifference. 🕊️
At this very moment, the trading volume has swelled to a staggering $744 million, while the asset has leapt by over 11% in a single day-a most impressive feat, indeed! And pray, let us not forget its nearly 1,000% gain over the past year, a testament to its enduring allure. 📈🤑
Token launches in 2025 have handed investors a cold wake-up call. Data compiled by Memento Research shows that the vast majority of new tokens are trading below their Token Generation Event (TGE) valuations, reinforcing growing skepticism around whether “early” still means opportunity in today’s market. It’s as if the market has declared war on optimism, with every token launch a doomed romance between hope and a brick wall.