Bitcoin? Oh, it’s a drama queen. Saw the CPI report on Sept. 11 and dropped a grand like it was hot. 💸 Meanwhile, Ethereum’s trying to play catch-up after losing a billion bucks in the first week of September. Classic “I left the stove on” energy. 🔥
This bureaucratic ballet comes mere weeks after their initial application, a testament to the endless waltz between financial firms and regulators. Ah, the SEC-ever the cautious chaperone at this crypto debutante ball. 💃🕺
In a very dramatic post (cue the lights and sad violin music), X revealed that some suspended accounts, mainly the ones dabbling in crypto scams, attempted a shoddy little scheme involving paying middlemen to bribe employees into reinstating their accounts. Because nothing says “trustworthy” like bribing people to give you your account back. 🙄
Because let’s be real-$55 isn’t just a number. It’s the emotional support level for HYPE traders. If it cracks, we’re all just one bad tweet away from sobbing into our crypto wallets. 💔
This oracle speaks in the wake of the Federal Reserve’s recent 0.25% rate haircut-a snip so precise the CME’s FedWatch had already fuzzed the numbers with a 96% chance of such benevolence, weeks before the FOMC’s grand assembly.
On September 18, these tech wizards filed their S-1 registration with the SEC, because nothing says “we’ve made it” like a mountain of paperwork. 📄✨ Their plan? To list on the NYSE under the ticker BTGO, because nothing screams “serious business” like a four-letter acronym. 🚀
Well, Lubin didn’t bother to drop any juicy details about when or how, but let’s be real-he hinted it’ll be sooner than you think. Can’t say we weren’t warned!
A second audit is already underway, highlighting the team’s commitment to safety and reliability before the platform goes live. Because nothing says “trust us” like a second audit, right? 🤷♂️
“Volatility? Decrease it, you say? But of course!” Saylor declared to Natalie Brunell on the Coin Stories podcast, as if he were a wizard casting a spell of boredom upon the crypto realm. 🧙♂️✨ “Let the mega institutions waltz in with their fancy suits and spreadsheets. Size matters, after all.”
First up, we have wallet 0x04EA, who elegantly withdrew a gargantuan 7.04 million $ASTER, sinking a cool $4.66 million into the token. One can almost picture them swimming around in their virtual sea, laughing at the sheer amount of digital currency they’ve just yanked from the depths. 🐋
