North Korea’s exploits reached a new high this year. Data from Chainalysis shows a rise in stolen value, even as the number of attacks fell. Imagine that! More money, fewer parties. Efficiency, people! 🤷
fell 2% to $1.84 over 24 hours. Groundbreaking! Next, they’ll tell us water is wet and crypto Twitter is unhinged. 🚰
Under the shimmering glow of its 2026 tax reform blueprint, Japan has unveiled plans to slice the crypto capital gains tax from a staggering 55% down to a more palatable flat 20%. This delightful morsel brings certain digital assets into a cozy embrace with stocks and investment trusts-something investors have been clamoring for like children at a candy store. 🍭
A token generation event is often framed as a visibility or a liquidity milestone. In reality, TGEs solve structural problems that most web3 projects cannot address through private fundraising or product development alone. Formula’s research into token launches from 2024 to 2025 shows that outcomes depend less on brand or capital than on how teams understand the role of the token. 🕵️♂️
Therefore, the upcoming U.S. economic data has been watching the crypto market with the intensity usually reserved for a cliffhanger TV finale.
The iShares Silver Trust’s tokenized doppelgänger has become the darling of blockchain enthusiasts, its monthly transfers ballooning 1,200%. In 2025, as silver prices soared above $80/ounce, one might say the market’s collective IQ dropped faster than a bear market stock. Gold? Pfft-silver’s the new “it” metal, shattering decades of resistance with the grace of a bull in a china shop.
Imagine this: Hyperliquid, leaning back in their ergonomic chairs, smiling into their coffee cups, decides to unleash 1.2 million HYPE tokens on the unsuspecting world (or at least the financial markets) for the spread of good cheer known as the January 6 distribution. It’s the digital equivalent of a magician pulling rabbits out of a hat, but the rabbits are staked coins and they follow a 24-month schedule. From now on, January 6 employees will rejoice, as that’s the day the unstaking sun rises for all future distributions. Fancy that.
The digital currency did experience a slight decline from its earlier heights, falling to as low as $86,740 by Christmas Eve. Indeed, attempts to regain $90,000 proved frustrating, halted at a mere $89,000 on Friday, with the weekend spent oscillating between $87,000 and $88,000. One might almost feel sorry for the speculators! Such is the fickle nature of these modern investments.
This pronouncement, delivered with suitably bureaucratic gravity by one Lu Lei (a Deputy Governor of the People’s Bank of China – a title that inevitably evokes images of endless paperwork and lukewarm tea), appeared in the Financial News, a publication whose very existence suggests a degree of self-assured centrality. The intention? To ‘boost adoption,’ naturally. As if a digital currency needs ‘boosting’ like a melancholic spirit needs a pep talk.
The XRP galaxy is buzzing with chatter, as if the Great Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything was suddenly about wallet distribution. 🌌 Turns out, most wallets are as light as a towel at a hitchhiker’s convention, while a few hoarding whales could buy a small moon. 🌕 This has everyone arguing about whether the little fish can still swim in this cosmic pond.