2025 was supposed to be the year of “innovation,” “ecosystems,” and “decentralized unicorns.” Instead, we got Bitcoin Cash-the crypto equivalent of a beige wall-stealing the spotlight. Who knew?
2025 is drawing to an end with few crypto market stories more dramatic than the Oct. 10 “flash crash,” when bitcoin plunged $12,000, or nearly 10%, in minutes. The meltdown triggered more than $19 billion in liquidations in just 24 hours, followed by a trader-circulated “cascade warning” and a staggering $500 billion wiped from total crypto market capitalization. 🧨💣
One of XRP’s most dramatic short-term derivatives, a tale of 564% open interest, has unfolded in mere hours. 🧠📈 In four hours, open interest skyrocketed by 564 points, or 80%, a spectacle that has thrust the asset into the spotlight-not because it’s bullish, but because it’s risky. Calm markets, as we know, do not indulge in such antics. 🧨
A tale of hubris and haste, this was-a bundled rug pull, stitched together by hands unseen, unraveling with the grace of a tragic opera in the meme coin realm.
Arkham data reveals BlackRock deposited 2,201 BTC ($192.13 million) into Coinbase, which is roughly the same amount of caffeine it takes to wake up a sloth. The Bitcoin price, currently stuck in a time loop below $90,000, is now questioning its life choices. 🤔
The chaps in the backroom-those clever developers-have been busier than a bee in a bonnet, while the on-chain economy has been sticking to ETH’s market cap like a faithful manservant. And let’s not forget the institutions, piling in with the gusto of a hungry fellow at a buffet. 🍽️
And don’t even get him started on “fintech chains.” He calls them “underwhelming,” which is the nicest way to say they’re a dumpster fire. Tempo, Arc, Robinhood Chain? More like Temp-oh-no, Arc-what-now, and Robinhood’s Chain of Regret. Meanwhile, Ethereum and Solana “overdeliver.” Of course, because those chains are basically the only ones that haven’t tried to reinvent the wheel with a blockchain.
Whereas Bitcoin is a rigid, unchanging, utterly inflexible endeavor reminiscent of your childhood governess, Ethereum is more akin to a loosely organized tea party where the rules evolve with the wind and the enthusiastic marshaling of social agreement. Park quietly points out – in a whisper, lest we startle the deer – that Harvard, while letting itself bask in the mystery of admissions scarcity, is in fact exercising discretion broader than the Milky Way in its vastness.
Now listen here, partner – these city slickers at STS Digital (who probably wear fancier shoes than you’ll ever own) say that what worked for Bitcoin is now being tried on its poorer cousins. It’s like using your grandpappy’s moonshine recipe to make kombucha – same principle, but now it’s “artisanal.” 🥃➡️🍵
According to a report from the wise folks at CoinMarketCap, Chalom reckons the stablecoin market will balloon to a whopping $500 billion by December 2026. That’s a 62% leap from its current $308.46 billion! 🏦 And guess who’s handling over half of those transactions? Yes, Ethereum, the unsung hero of the blockchain world. So, if stablecoins are the party, Ethereum’s the one bringing the punch-and the punch is spiked! 🥳
