First, it counts up to nine candles of the same color. Then, it tells you if it’s time for a change in direction. Red candles? Buckle up! Green candles? Get ready for a rocky ride! Then there’s a countdown phase to really drive the point home. It’s like a game of “guess when the trend’s going to stop.” 🎰
Analysis by CoinDesk’s own chart whisperer, Omkar Godbole.
Meanwhile, the cryptocurrency market is doing its usual impression of a mood swing. Bitcoin decided to play the role of the overachiever (↑1%), while Ethereum took a coffee break (↓1% at $2,801). 📉☕
Well, Japan is officially joining the crypto revolution! The government has decided that a flat 20% crypto tax is the way to go. Out with the old, high-as-the-sky tax rates, and in with this simplified system. The old tax rate could hit a whopping 55%, but now, get ready to bask in the glory of a much cooler 20%. It’s like getting a discount on tax season, right?
In a grand gesture of ecological pretense, Canaan and SynVista unveil a mining rig armed with an AI-powered scheduling engine, a contraption so sophisticated it could synchronize the tides with a flick of its digital wrist. 🧠
Finance Minister Katayama kicked things off by highlighting the urgent need for objective metrics to review tax expenditures. Why? Because Japan is staring down a projected annual revenue shortfall of 1.5 trillion yen. That’s right, 1.5 trillion yen-almost enough to buy Elon Musk’s Twitter twice. 😅
“Skew’s sharp plunge,” Forster mused in a note so dry it could parch a desert, “reveals traders piling puts like children stacking autumn leaves-into December 26, where open interest clings stubbornly at $84K and $80K strikes.”
In the month that just tiptoed by, trading volume floated down to a modest $1.6 trillion. Seems like our dear traders have decided it’s time for a little R&R after months of roller-coaster antics-who can blame them? 🥱
In particular, tokens like Official Trump [TRUMP] and Melania [MELANIA] have extended their 2025 losses, a tale of woe that would make even a Tolstoy character weep. 🐍
Bitwise, ever the glutton, has swollen its XRP holdings to 80 million tokens-enough to choke a small blockchain. ETF managers now cradle over $687 million in assets, a sum representing just north of 300 million XRP on record. 21Shares, ever the modest newcomer, arrived with a $500,000 seed basket and the audacity to charge a 0.50% management fee. The competition among issuers promises to reveal, with the subtlety of a sledgehammer, just how desperately these funds intend to hoard XRP in the long term.
