Oh no, not again! THORChain, the cross-chain swapping protocol that’s about as secure as a soap bubble in a hurricane, has suffered a security breach so spectacular it’s made the universe pause mid-sentence. Estimated losses? A mere $1.2 million-enough to buy a small island, a few submarines, and a very confused parrot. The breach has … Read more
According to the oracle of finance, Sygnum Bank, Ethereum’s value has swelled like an overripe fruit, achieving astronomical heights in August, leaving Bitcoin to ponder its own mediocrity. Such is the capriciousness of fortune!
Galaxy Digital – you know, those people who casually threw $1.65 billion at Solana like it was loose change in their couch – are at it again.
Oh, what a dramatic entrance! 🎭 In the shadowy corridors of the DTCC, where the fate of financial dreams is decided with the grace of a bureaucrat’s pen, Fidelity’s Solana ETF (FSOL), Canary’s HBAR ETF (HBR), and Canary’s XRP ETF (XRPC) have made their debut. 📢 But beware, dear readers-this is no victory parade! 🎉 … Read more
As of late August, two dedicated souls were sent packing, including the charming Nicole Sales Giles. Meanwhile, darling Sebastian Sanchez will remain sulking in New York. Poor Giles was quite the figure at the Art+Tech Summit in Hong Kong. Picture her: valiant, poised, standing among the cryptic whispers of Hong Kong Fintech Week!
Apparently, some technical analysis thingamajig – the Bollinger Bands, invented by a man named John Bollinger, who I assume now spends his days relaxing on a yacht funded by anxious traders – is “squeezing.” Which is apparently bad. Or good. 🤔 The article doesn’t commit. It just states that squeezing bands mean a “major price move” is looming. Like a passive-aggressive email from HR.
Vet, a name that sounds suspiciously like a veterinary physician concerned with the health of crypto wallets, hints at a great unveiling. A digital prophylaxis, perhaps? The Ledger, it seems, is susceptible to the same ailments as any living thing – a fever of speculation, a rash of bad code. And they believe XLS-86, this firewall under construction, will act as a tonic, a cure-all. A bold claim, even for these times.
CleanCore Solutions just can’t get enough of the good stuff. Their big buy-in, plus the potential ETF debut next Thursday, is giving the original meme coin some serious spotlight. And let’s be real, who doesn’t love a good meme? 🤣 But hey, we’re still a long way from those glorious 2021 highs. 🌟
The stewards of this digital fancy, the team at Pump.fun, have seen fit to deploy a considerable sum – $2.5 million, to be precise – in the acquisition of their own tokens. A gesture, no doubt, intended to inspire confidence. One imagines the buyers, a rather eager multitude, snapping up some seven billion tokens in the space of two days. A rather brisk trade, wouldn’t you agree?
Crypto burns, am I right? 🤑 Stablecoins, unstable minds. Apparently, Ripple’s been playing with matches, burning millions of RLUSD in the past few weeks. Why? Who knows. Maybe they’re just really into bonfires. 🌭🔥