Crypto News

On a Friday that will live in infamy or obscurity (history will judge), Bybit pondered the existential crisis of Bitwise’s BSOL and Grayscale’s GSOL-two ETFs that now grace the altar of regulated brokerage access alongside Bitcoin and Ethereum. A milestone, yes, but one that smells faintly of hubris. The report claimed this could “reshape its price trajectory and market structure for years to come.” How poetic, if only the market were a poet.

The markets, those great theaters of human folly, present a curious spectacle: stocks, serene as a summer pond; volatility, dormant as a hibernating bear; and Bitcoin, the enfant terrible, oddly subdued. McGlone, with a wink and a nod, labels this “extreme complacency,” a phrase that hangs in the air like a poorly timed punchline. 🤡📉

Mind you, BTC also had the good manners to wobble below $100,000 – scandalous! – and ETH, darling, well, it simply erased its entire year’s work. One must sympathize. It’s like showing up to a gala in last season’s couture. Unforgivable. 😬

The air is thick with gossip as Bitcoin enthusiasts chitchat about the curious case of long-forgotten coins stirring once again. Since January 1, 2025, a modest 4.64 million BTC have come to life-mostly from wallets with a two-year, three-year, or occasional five-year nap. But this? This is a different breed. A bold 2016 holder decided it was time to move 216.95 BTC from a wallet that had been as inert as your grandmother’s favorite armchair for 3,412 days. The transaction was confirmed just hours ago, at block 922580, which, let’s be honest, probably felt like a reunion for the coin.

The trading volume? Oh, just a casual $1.88 billion a day-no big deal. Liquidity is flowing smoothly across platforms like Binance, Hyperliquid, and Bybit. A lovely sight for any crypto enthusiast who’s grown tired of watching stagnant charts. 📈

Old Bitcoin, that trendsetter, has been dictating the market’s mood swings, but Dogecoin, bless its furry little heart, seems to be plotting a jolly reversal. Enter NekoZ, a crypto analyst with a name that sounds like a cat’s whisper, who’s spotted a bullish setup on Dogecoin’s weekly chart. Rather exciting, what? 🧐✨

Remember when Bitcoin was flirting with $110,000 on Sunday? Yeah, that was fun. Then it face-planted to $99,000 faster than you can say “HODL.” 😂 But hey, at least it’s not in the $90,000 gutter anymore. Progress? 🤷‍♀️

ETFs finally broke their six-day “hot mess” streak Thursday with a measly $240 million inflow. Balchunas shared a chart showing $722 million in net outflows over the past month. Because nothing says “I’ve got this under control” like watching $20 billion vanish faster than a magician’s rabbit. 🎩🐇

He delivered this alarm on November 5, with all the gravitas of a man who knows that a nation’s financial future might hinge on not being the slowest kid in the blockchain class. He urged regulators, financiers, and investors alike to grab this shiny new opportunity-or be left to ponder what might have been. Because let’s face it, the competition isn’t yawning; they’re sprinting ahead while we’re busy debating whether blockchain is better than calling it “digital gold” at the pub.