BTC Crash?! Trump’s Tariffs Trigger Market Meltdown! 😱

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Bitcoin, bless its heart, took a little tumble to $77,098. It’s like when I try to parallel park – a slight dip, a little panic, but mostly just embarrassing. And just like when I ding someone’s bumper, the Dow Jones Industrial average also plunged, like, more than 1,500 points.

Dow Tanks 1,500 Points; Bitcoin Sinks as Economic Anxiety Spreads (Or Did I Just Spill My Chardonnay?) 🍷

So, between 5 p.m. and 8 p.m. on Sunday, Apr. 6, the digital asset economy, which I’m pretty sure is just a bunch of nerds refreshing their screens, contracted by another $50 billion. That’s like, what, half a season of “30 Rock”? Bitcoin ( BTC) hit its lowest point—$77,098—at approximately 7:24 p.m. ET and has since rebounded slightly to $77,654. The cryptocurrency appears to be functioning as a proxy indicator for Wall Street’s upcoming open, a theory that aligns with futures market behavior. (Translation: I have no idea what that means, but it sounds important.) 🤷‍♀️

Source: cryptobubbles.net at 8:30 p.m. ET on Sunday evening. (Pretty sure those bubbles are plotting something.)

The Dow Jones Industrial average declined by 4.1%, while the S&P 500 fell 4.6%. Analysts have pointed to President Trump’s recently announced tariff policies as a key factor. These measures, introduced earlier last week, include a blanket 10% tariff on imports, with escalated rates reaching up to 50% for certain countries, notably China and Vietnam. Interestingly, the decline extended beyond equities—gold, too, is trading lower. (So basically, everyone’s mad at Trump. Got it.) 😠

Donald Trump Truth Social post on Sunday evening. (Probably blaming the deep state.)

The precious metal is down 1.9% over the past 24 hours, now changing hands at $2,980 per ounce, below the $3,000 threshold. Market participants are turning their focus to Monday’s Wall Street open, which is shaping up to be volatile. Adding to the week’s economic narrative, first-quarter earnings will begin rolling out, accompanied by Thursday’s anticipated consumer price index (CPI) release. (Translation: Get ready for a bumpy ride. Maybe invest in Xanax?) 😬

//branch.wallet.bitcoin.com/news-contextual-btc”>BTC itself has declined 6.3% today and sits 28.3% beneath its all-time peak achieved three months ago. Although it briefly neared $76,900, the coin has yet to breach the $76,600 figure last recorded on March 10, 2025—but it’s been inching ever closer to that foundation. (So, basically, if you invested in crypto, maybe don’t check your portfolio for a while. Just binge-watch something instead.) 🤫

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2025-04-07 04:27