Borrow Like Gatsby: Strike’s Bitcoin-Backed Loans Are Here and the APR Is Simply Divine

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Well, darling, Jack Mallers—the enfant terrible of fintech—has waltzed onto the scene with an announcement that’s positively fizzing: Strike is offering bitcoin-backed loans to those select souls deemed worthy. Imagine, if you will, the glamour of securing a cash advance without tearing yourself away from your precious bitcoin. No need for the vulgarity of liquidation, simply pop your digital riches down as collateral, and prepare for a loan stretching anywhere from $75,000 to a cool $2 million. Starting APR, you ask? A cheeky 12%—not quite a steal, but then again, no origination fees, so put away the pearls you were about to clutch.

What could one do with such largesse? Why, buy a house on Long Island, invest in that questionable jazz club, or perhaps splurge on a few dazzling parties of your own. Just note: only patrons dwelling in select US states need apply—after all, exclusivity is still terribly in vogue. Mallers assures us this is a positively nimble financial arrangement, letting you cling to your cherished bitcoin while sidestepping the unpleasantness of taxation (those ghastly “taxable events” are for other people, obviously).

So Strike’s bitcoin-backed loans are officially live, ushering in a new era of financial bravado. Pour yourself a martini, check eligibility, and start plotting your next Gatsby-worthy escapade. 🎩💼🍸

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2025-05-07 16:40