Bitcoin’s Wild Ride: Will It Soar or Crash? 🚀💔

by

What to know:

By James Van Straten (All times ET unless indicated otherwise)

So, here we are, folks! Bitcoin (BTC) is still strutting its stuff above $80,000, like it’s the prom queen of the crypto world, while the rest of the market is having a bit of an existential crisis. 😱

But wait! There’s a risk-off vibe in the air, like that awkward silence when you realize you’ve just told a dad joke at a party. Bitcoin’s dominance is now at a whopping 62%, which is like being the tallest kid in kindergarten. Meanwhile, poor ETH is feeling a bit left out, underperforming like a contestant on a reality show who forgot their lines. 🙈

And let’s not forget about Trump’s trade wars, which are still causing more drama than a soap opera. It’s not just Canada; the EU is throwing shade with metal tariffs. Can we get a collective eye roll? 🙄

In Canada, Prime Minister Mark Carney is making waves by wanting to sell U.S. dollar bonds. The size of the sale is still a mystery, but Canada is sitting on $379 billion in U.S. Treasuries. If this sale goes through, it could send yields soaring, which is the last thing Trump wants. Talk about a plot twist! 📈

With $9 trillion of U.S. debt maturing this year, the Treasury yield narrative is more important than your morning coffee. The bulls are hoping for a softer inflation print today, but if it’s hotter than expected, we might be in for a bumpy ride. Buckle up! 🚗💨

Token Talk

By Shaurya Malwa

  • The new BMT tokens from Bubblemaps are down over 50% since their debut. Ouch! 😬
  • Bubblemaps is like a gossip column for wallets, revealing whale concentrations and suspicious patterns. It’s like a reality show for crypto! 🐋
  • BMT tokens can unlock an “Intel Desk” for scam investigations. Because who doesn’t love a good detective story? 🕵️‍♂️
  • But wait! People are not happy with BMT’s 90% supply concentration in one wallet. It’s like having a party where only one person gets all the snacks. 🍕

Call me crazy but I don’t think the $BMT is going to end well.

CA tweeted 13 mins ago.

Dexscreener shows first token launched with that CA 14 hrs ago.

10+ scam tokens using same CA.

Insiders holding insane amounts of supply.

Majority of the volume coming from new wallets.

— Cashper 👻 (@NotRealCashper) March 11, 2025

Derivatives Positioning

  • Open interest in ETH futures has hit 9.75 million ETH, the highest since February. Traders are selling like it’s Black Friday! 🛍️
  • BTC futures are a bit light, with funding rates barely positive. SOL, ADA, TRX, and LINK are still in the negative zone. Yikes! 😬
  • Deribit-listed BTC and ETH options are leaning towards puts, like a sad puppy waiting for a treat. 🐶
  • Overnight block flows featured selling higher strike BTC and ETH calls. It’s like a game of poker, but with more drama! 🎲

Market Movements:

  • BTC is down 0.55% at $82,577.14 (24hrs: +0.87%)
  • ETH is down 2.6% at $1,892.41 (24hrs: -1.58%)
  • CoinDesk 20 is down 1% at 2,556.70 (24hrs: +0.52%)
  • Ether CESR Composite Staking Rate is up

Read More

2025-03-12 14:34