Bitcoin’s Wild Ride: States, Stocks, and a Slice of Pizza 🍕

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Ah, the month of May, a time when the sun shines brightly upon the crypto markets, and Bitcoin (BTC), that capricious creature, soared to a dizzying height, surpassing the monumental sum of $111,000. Meanwhile, Coinbase, that digital exchange of dreams, found itself basking in the illustrious company of the S&P 500. What a time to be alive! 😅

On the 12th day of this month, a sigh of relief echoed through the markets as the illustrious President Trump, in a moment of unexpected benevolence, reached a trade agreement with China, halting tariffs that had sent the markets into a veritable tailspin. Bitcoin, in a fit of exuberance, danced up to $105,000, only to stumble back down to $102,000, as if it were a drunken poet lamenting the fleeting nature of fortune.

In the realm of policy, five states in the grand United States enacted new laws concerning Bitcoin, as if they were knights of old, brandishing their legislative swords. Texas, in a long-awaited move, established a state Bitcoin reserve, while Alabama, in a twist of fate, postponed an effort to exempt crypto from certain taxes indefinitely. Oh, the irony! 🤦‍♂️

And what of OpenAI, that ambitious entity? It seeks to establish eye-scanning Orb stations across six cities in five states, as if to say, “Fear not, for we shall watch over you!” This follows a series of legal skirmishes against its project, World, in twelve countries. Truly, the world is a stage, and we are but players, each with our own peculiar roles.

Now, let us delve into the numbers of May:

Five states enact crypto-related laws in May, Texas passes Bitcoin reserve bill

In this grand theater of cryptocurrency, five states have taken bold steps, enacting bills that would make even the most stoic of legislators raise an eyebrow. Texas, with its cowboy spirit, passed a bill establishing a state Bitcoin reserve, while New Hampshire followed suit, allowing its treasurer to invest in public funds that include precious metals and digital assets. A veritable gold rush, if you will!

In Arizona, a newly formed Bitcoin and Digital Assets Reserve Fund will cradle unclaimed digital assets, as if they were lost souls waiting for their rightful owners to return. Nebraska, on the other hand, has granted public power utilities authority over Bitcoin miners, introducing a permit regime that would make even the most seasoned bureaucrat chuckle. Oregon, ever the progressive, has included crypto in its Uniform Commercial Code, as if to say, “Welcome to the future!”

Coinbase stock up 19.37% in May, joins S&P 500

Ah, the stock price of Coinbase, which has risen by 19.37% this month, despite the shadow of a $400 million security incident looming over it like a dark cloud. The price closed at $248.84 on May 29, a testament to the resilience of the crypto spirit. Yet, not all are pleased; some observers, with furrowed brows, express their doubts about the exchange’s inclusion in the S&P 500. “All I can tell you is this is not good,” lamented the ever-cynical Ed Elson. Oh, the drama! 🎭

Major indexes bounce back after 90-day US-China tariff deal

On that fateful day of May 12, the Trump administration announced a deal with China to suspend tariffs for 90 days, leading to a brief resurgence in the S&P 500 and Nasdaq, which saw gains of 4.5% and 3%, respectively. Bitcoin, too, joined the party, rising by 2%. But alas, as the days passed, Bitcoin failed to meet the lofty expectations set before it, as macroeconomic conditions favored stocks over the digital gold. The Nasdaq-100 index was up 9.16% for the month, while the S&P 500 climbed 6.16%. What a rollercoaster! 🎢

Bitcoin “Pizza Day” sees market cap top Amazon at $2.2 trillion, BTC ATH

On the 22nd of May, a day now immortalized as “Bitcoin Pizza Day,” the market capitalization of Bitcoin soared past $2.2 trillion, eclipsing even the mighty Amazon. This day commemorates the legendary Laszlo Hanyecz, who, in a moment of culinary folly, purchased two pizzas for 10,000 BTC back in 2010. The price of Bitcoin hit a new all-time high of just over $109,000, only to break that record a few days later, reaching $111,970. Truly, a feast for the ages! 🍕

Yet, as the month drew to a close, Bitcoin’s fervor began to wane, with demand cooling and spot Bitcoin exchange-traded funds recording a staggering $347 million in net outflows on May 29. Such is the fickle nature of fortune!

OpenAI moves world project to US after enforcement actions in 12 countries

On April 30, the ever-ambitious Sam Altman, CEO of OpenAI, announced that the digital identity project, World, would be relocating to the United States. This decision comes in the wake of legal actions taken against World in twelve countries, each with its own peculiar grievances. In Kenya, they speak of data privacy, while in Brazil, concerns over economic manipulation loom large. In Hong Kong, the project is banned outright, as if it were a forbidden fruit. 🍏

World, in its defense, claims to hold no identifying information linked to the unique eye scans recorded on its Orb devices. “Fear not,” it proclaims, “for you own and control your information in the form of your World ID.” A noble sentiment, indeed, but one must wonder: in this age of surveillance, who truly owns what?

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2025-05-31 16:16