So, get this: not too long ago, Bitcoin was like that one relative at the party who *thought* it was gonna be great but ended up standing awkwardly in the corner under $75K. I mean, a five-month low? C’mon. Now? Suddenly Mr. Popularity is flexing above $95,000 like he owns the place. Real subtle.
Most of this caffeine-fueled sprint happened just last week. Remember last Friday’s update? We said Bitcoin was calm, like a guy stuck in traffic at $85K. Weekend came. Same traffic jam. Monday rolls around and BAM! Bull runs it like they’re late for a meeting, jumping past $86,000 like it’s no big deal.
Next day, Mr. Bitcoin strolls past $90K for the first time since March — like, “Oh hey, I’m just popping by.” Gains didn’t stop, of course. Because when have they ever?
Supposedly this whole thing is because the US and China had a “hey, let’s chill for a bit” moment with their trade war. Bitcoin reacted by blasting past $95K — a two-month high. Suddenly, everyone’s whispering, “$100K? When? Should we start printing invites for the yacht party?”
Take a peek at the weekly chart — it’s the closest thing to a flex you’ll see this week: 12% gains. But wait, don’t get your hopes up, the altcoins are showing off even harder. SOL, DOGE, ADA, LINK, AVAX — oh and SUI? That one jumped 75%. Yeah, 75%! It’s trading at $3.7 now. Guess it skipped leg day at the gym and went straight to steroids.
Market Data (Because Numbers Make You Look Smarter)
Market Cap: $3.09T | Volume in 24H: $115B | BTC Dominance: 61.3%
BTC: $95,300 (+12.8%) | ETH: $1,807 (+13.7%) | XRP: $2.21 (+6.6%)
Hot Off the Digital Press – Crypto Gossip You Can Pretend You Care About
ARK Invest: Bitcoin to Hit $1.5 Million by 2030. Cathie Wood and her team keep dreaming big — I mean, who doesn’t want their Bitcoin to be worth more than my car? Check out their “solid” plan if you want a bedtime story that’s more sci-fi than reality.
Bitcoin Breaks Up with the Stock Market. After some trade war drama, Bitcoin decided it needed “space.” Now it’s doing its own thing, stronger and more independent. CryptoQuant says it’s showing “resilience” — aka, not crashing like the rest of us.
Bitcoin ETFs Are Trending Like Celebrity Gossip. Post-Trump trade war, everyone fled those Bitcoin ETFs faster than a bad Tinder date. But surprise! Net inflows are back—hello April 22, the “I’m back baby” day.
Dinner with Trump? The Top 220 Holders of TRUMP Coin Might Get an Invite. What a time to be alive — or, you know, mildly entertained. Suddenly, whales are swimming in the pool throwing their cash around like it’s the last slice of pizza.
Charles Hoskinson: Ethereum‘s Clock’s Ticking. The Cardano guy who helped found Ethereum is basically saying, “Look, I love it, but it might not make it.” It’s like watching your ex date and thinking, “Yeah, they’re doomed.”
Arthur Hayes Sees Bitcoin at $200K, Thanks to Treasury Buybacks. While some are yelling millions, Hayes plays it chill—“just” $200K. Treasury buybacks might be the magic sauce here. Or maybe not. But hey, it sounds cool.
Charts (Because Everyone Loves a Good Graph)
This week’s lineup: Ethereum, Ripple, Cardano, Hype, and Solana. Want the full breakdown and some geeky number talk? Click here and pretend you understand what you’re looking at.
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2025-04-25 18:54