Bitcoin’s $150K Dream Blocked by Hopeless FOMO Sellers and Corporate Scheming

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  • Impatient souls, feverish with anticipation, topple Bitcoin’s march to $150,000. 🍾
  • Tariffs rise across the landscape, as if summoned by Fate herself to confuse the simple-minded on Wall Street.
  • America, ever restless, tiptoes into Bitcoin’s embrace—with corporations following right on their tiptoes. 🕴️

In the kind of salon* conversation that could only take place in our age of digital bewilderment, Michael Saylor—founder of MicroStrategy and archetypical modern landowner, but for code—found himself on air with Natalie Brunell on that fateful May 9, 2025. Bitcoin, capricious spirit that it is, refused to ascend to the long-whispered $150,000, and Saylor, with the air of a country doctor diagnosing spring fevers, blamed it on those who are always in a hurry—our short-term investors.

No, Saylor observed, it wasn’t the old hands, hardened by years of market storms, who abandoned ship. The true drama unfolded in the brief candlelight of rallies—moments in which these ephemeral speculators, perhaps fearing their tea might get cold, dashed to sell before the next bowl of soup.

Saylor, channeling the wisdom of much older times, revealed that these merchants of haste liquidated their Bitcoin at every uptick, their patience thinner than Russian spring ice. The majestic ascent of Bitcoin was thus hampered, its destiny delayed—imagine if Raskolnikov had tried to sell Bitcoin to pay his rent. The universe may not have survived.

Yet, Saylor—who, like all good Russian protagonists, allows himself a glimmer of hope—discerns a radiant flicker ahead. For where some see chaos, others see a chance to buy the dip. Every exodus is, in fact, a pensive queue of new faces, ready to leap into the icy pool of digital assets, wallets at the ready.

And So the Dance Continues: New Czars Arrive, Old Guards Depart 🚶‍♂️💼

Reports Saylor, with the resigned cheer of a man enduring late spring mud, there’s a sort of changing of the guard. Out march the short-term holders, in shuffle the institutional types—government clerks, lawyers, trustees—each convinced they can decipher the future from a spreadsheet. These titans, apparently, hold Bitcoin the length of a Russian winter—only to sell when the sun finally shines.

Thus, the very structure of the market is reworked, like a country estate during a particularly ambitious renovation. Saylor envisions these new players, with their deep pockets and longer attention spans (by cryptocurrency standards), eventually steadying the course—even if, for now, they seem more interested in redecorating than actual farming.

As for the audacious forecast of $13 million per Bitcoin, Saylor delivered it with the easy bravado of someone reciting Pushkin at a provincial dinner party. Once companies clutch Bitcoin to their bosoms, he prophesies, the price will vault upward—just as all the best fairy tales promise.

And yet—always the ominous shadow!—tariffs and the eternal meddling of the macroeconomic gods loom. Their uncertainties ripple across the financial fields, prompting investors to squint distrustfully into the horizon, like peasants expecting an early frost.

Corporate Schemes and The Sucrose of Finance

Within the podcast’s dim-lit room, Saylor explained how companies, armed with stale coffee and bold pie charts, march upon Bitcoin as a hedge against all that gnaws at their balance sheets. MicroStrategy, with shrewd peasant cunning, packs its treasury with Bitcoin, hoping to withstand inflation and the suspicious decline of every currency you’ve never heard of.

BitBonds are lauded as a bridge, leading Bitcoin from its anarchic youth into the drawing rooms of polite financial society. According to Saylor, “Bitcoin is the sucrose of finance”—a sweetener, yes, but liable to produce jitters if overused. There’s nothing like a little hyperbole to calm investors prone to existential gloom.

MicroStrategy’s gamble (or “enlightened bet,” as the PR men surely say) has, in Saylor’s retelling, bestowed not just fortunes but a rare sense of stability amid market panic. Bitcoin, it seems, is the samovar at their board meetings—warming, a little dangerous, and always the topic of conversation.

With the United States casting increasingly curious glances at Bitcoin, the world’s stage is set for a new act. Saylor’s visions now seem more relevant than ever, as if even the accountants are beginning to hum along to the melody he’s been playing.

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2025-05-11 12:24