Trump’s Doom & Gloom: Crypto Goes Ka-Boom

Story Highlights

• Bitcoin, XRP, and Dogecoin dive faster than a priest at a disco after Trump’s recession warning.

• Bitcoin sheds 8% of its value, plummeting to $79K and leaving long-position investors weeping into their Manhattans.

• Analyst warns XRP’s price is as stable as a Jenga tower built by a chimpanzee.

• Dogecoin whales buy up 1.7B DOGE despite the market looking like a toddler’s drawing of a sunset.

The cryptocurrency market took a nosedive faster than a politician promising fiscal responsibility. It seems our dear President Trump, bless his orange soul, hinted at a possible recession, sending investors scurrying for the exits like a flock of startled pigeons. Bitcoin, XRP, and Dogecoin were hit hardest, with Bitcoin losing a cool 8% of its value and falling to $79,177. This triggered a cascade of liquidations, sending XRP to $2.06 and Dogecoin to a pitiful $0.16401. It’s enough to make you want to throw your crypto portfolio out the window and invest in beanie babies instead.

Arthur Hayes Predicts Bitcoin to Test $78K, Support at $75K

All this market turmoil started after Trump graced us with his wisdom on Sunday Morning Futures, predicting a recession with all the certainty of a fortune teller reading tea leaves. He claimed to dislike making such predictions, which is probably why his statements are so wildly vague. The market, ever the drama queen, reacted with the kind of panic one might expect at a disco when the music abruptly stops. Investors, convinced that the end was nigh, began selling their assets with the fervor of a moth to a flame. The Bitcoin Fear & Greed Index, a measure of market sentiment, registered “Extreme Fear,” which is basically marketing jargon for “everyone’s about to lose their shirts.” One market analyst, Arthur Hayes, with a glint in his eye and a mischievous smirk, predicted Bitcoin would test $78K before finding support at $75K. Let’s just hope he’s right, because if he’s wrong, we’re all going to hell in a handbasket.

Small Capital Moves Cause Big XRP Price Shifts, Says Analyst

The XRP market is as volatile as a rollercoaster ride in a hurricane. One analyst, Zach Rector, has coined the term “XRP market cap myth” to describe how easily the asset’s price fluctuates with even minor changes in market capitalization. After the SEC submitted its appeal brief on January 15, 2025, XRP lost over $15 billion in market cap, sending the price plummeting below $3.20. It’s enough to make you wonder if XRP is more of a casino chip than a legitimate currency. Rector points out that the market cap multiplier for XRP can sometimes be as high as 589x, or even into the thousands, showing how easily its value can be manipulated by the whims of investors.

Dogecoin Whales Make Bold Moves Despite Crypto

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2025-03-10 20:12