Bitcoin Won’t Sleep: PlanB Predicts a Grand Crypto Carnival (Half a Million Dollars?!)

Amid the rumble of digital cities and the ceaseless whir of money-printing presses, there lives a quant analyst—PlanB, prophet to the people, soothsayer of charts, and occasional bringer of existential dread. ⚡ He lifts his gaze from the wretched spreadsheets to proclaim: hope springeth eternal for Bitcoin! One grimy indicator, the Relative Strength Index (RSI), whispers of new heights not seen since the last time everyone got rich (or lost their shirts).

In a recent fireside chat—except upgrade the fire to an LED ring light that makes eyeballs shine with mad conviction—PlanB addresses his 211,000 faithful, all yearning souls who click “subscribe” as if the button itself might be made of Satoshis. He points to the RSI, that fickle meter which sniffs the air to decide: “Are we too greedy? Should we fear? Should we—heavens forbid—buy a bicycle instead of another GPU?”

The RSI, for those lucky enough to have missed finance school, slides from 0 to 100, like the hopes of people who bought Dogecoin at the top. Above 70? Clearly, there’s a party and you weren’t invited. Below 30? Pack your bags for Crypto Winter. ❄️

PlanB chants, with a certainty usually reserved for weather reports in Siberia:


“In my opinion, from now on, we’ll see new all-time highs, so that would be $110,000 and higher, followed by more monthly close all-time highs. Usually, those all-time highs, they’re not alone. They come in groups.”


Now, if we dare study the RSI—currently lounging at 66, just one short nap away from danger—it’s been stuck at the average 65. Not too hot, not too cold. For two years it slumbered below, and now, it seems, Bitcoin must ascend. Like a miner who’s learned to live by the dim lamp, BTC leaves the underworld for a stretch above the mean—draw your conclusions, or at least your liquidity lines.

Our analyst, not content to merely suggest, insists with the terrible joy of a man who’s seen too many spreadsheets: RSI will leap to 80 and stay there for months, much like your uncle on a casino hot streak. If past drunken bull runs are to be believed, this spell could push Bitcoin up 290%—enough to convert Starbucks baristas into Lord Baristas of the Blockchain Realm. ☕🪙


“In fact, I think we will see 80-plus RSI months again, at least four of them, just like in the bull markets in 2021, in 2017 and in 2013.”


So, gear up for at least four rounds of RSI fireworks. In this world, high RSI means high hopes—and wild monthly returns of 40%. At this rate, in four months, Bitcoin could buy you a Lambo, or failing that, a very nice bicycle for when the servers all melt.

At press time, Bitcoin lounges at $102,558, perhaps slightly hungover from its last summit, down 1.6% in 24 hours—proof that even legends need a nap now and then. 💤

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2025-05-13 15:40