Bitcoin Miner's Revenue Skyrockets, But Profits? Still a Ghost in the Machine 🪙🤦

The April wind, like a wayward creditor, swept across the facades of Riot Platforms’ offices, where men calculated fortunes, and the machinery of ambition hummed louder than the nightingales. In that particular quarter, the company reported revenue so grand, one might suppose that even the old gods would cast a sideways glance—$161.4 million, as if plucked from the mouth of a fairy tale accountant. Poor Wall Street, whose estimations landed a touch short, looked on with a wistful sigh. Riot’s managers surely raised a glass, though perhaps not with much champagne left in the bottle.

To the attentive observer, there comes the familiar twist of fate: while revenue soared like a lark, profit remained a flightless bird. The costs of coaxing Bitcoin from that great digital abyss nearly doubled, now numbering $43,808 per treasure—where last year, mere $23,034 did the trick. Progress, it seems, prefers to arrive on horseback—and trample the grass beneath. Riot explains, peering soulfully into the middle distance, that this misfortune is thanks to a “halving event.” A poetic occasion when the universe—or the programmers who think themselves the universe—decide miners must henceforth do twice the work for half the prize. (A bit like the Russian serf after the czar’s reforms, only with electricity instead of rye.)

Thus, the balance sheet somberly intones: a net loss of $296,367, compared to the sprightly $211,777 net income of last year. A decrease of 240%—the kind of decline that provokes even the dullest accountant to contemplate the futility of human striving, or at least a stronger drink.

Still, Riot’s managers console themselves with the particulars. Shares rose by 7.32% to that most auspicious of numbers, $7.77—a sign, perhaps, that luck still dances in the wings, flirting with the patient and the foolhardy alike.

Meanwhile, those laboring in Riot’s digital mines managed to unearth 166 more Bitcoin than the same quarter last year, worth an attention-grabbing $16.13 million at the current, dizzying price of $97,072 per coin. Picture, if you will, a heap of 19,223 unencumbered Bitcoin—some $1.86 billion, glinting in the company’s cold coffers, untouched by the cares of ordinary men.

And on an April eve, with only the moon and Coinbase as witness, Riot pledged a chunk of their digital gold to secure a $100 million credit facility. It is, in the words of CEO Jason Les, their “first Bitcoin-backed facility.” The implication being, of course, that there will be others—unless, like Russian love, sudden misfortune sweeps the ledger clean.

One can almost imagine the managers gathered by candlelight, pondering whether next quarter’s fortunes will be tamed, or if, like the fabled steppes, Riot’s profits will remain ever just beyond the horizon—an enigma wrapped in algorithms, forever chased, never caught. 🪙💸

2025-05-02 08:43

Bitcoin Miner’s Revenue Skyrockets, But Profits? Still a Ghost in the Machine 🪙🤦

Read More