Ah, Bitcoin, the digital dragon that once breathed fire and chaos into the hearts of retail investors. But now, according to the ever-so-wise Michael Saylor, Strategy’s executive chairman, it’s all going a bit… *yawn*… institutional. 🧑💼💼 Yes, the thrill of the rollercoaster may soon be replaced by the gentle sway of a rocking chair. How… *exciting*? 😴
“Volatility? Decrease it, you say? But of course!” Saylor declared to Natalie Brunell on the Coin Stories podcast, as if he were a wizard casting a spell of boredom upon the crypto realm. 🧙♂️✨ “Let the mega institutions waltz in with their fancy suits and spreadsheets. Size matters, after all.”
A Conundrum Wrapped in a Riddle, Served with a Side of Sarcasm
“Ah, the conundrum!” Saylor mused, stroking his metaphorical beard. “If the big boys come in and the volatility vanishes, it’ll be as thrilling as watching paint dry. 🖌️🦥 And the poor retail investors? Their adrenaline will plummet faster than a meme coin after a rug pull.”
“It’s like they rode the wildest rollercoaster in the park, and now they’re stuck on the teacups. 🌀☕️ A bit bearish, wouldn’t you say?”
But fear not, dear readers, for Saylor assures us this is merely Bitcoin’s “growing stage.” 🌱 Yes, the volatility is “coming out” of the asset, like a teenager finally outgrowing their emo phase. A good sign, apparently. 🤷♂️
Meanwhile, the Bitcoin price has stalled at $115,760, leaving some market participants as confused as a tourist with a map written in Klingon. 🗺️🤨 Wasn’t it just at $124,100 in August? Oh, the drama! 🎭
And what of the Federal Reserve’s interest rate cut? Well, it’s been priced in like a predictable plot twist in a soap opera. 🧼✂️ But fear not, for some analysts believe further cuts could send Bitcoin soaring higher than a pigeon on a caffeine binge. ☕️🐦
Bitcoiners: United in Confusion, Divided in Predictions
The Bitcoin community, ever the drama queens and kings, is split like a banana in a smoothie. 🍌🥤 BitMEX’s Arthur Hayes predicts $250,000 by year-end, while others are humbly calling for $150,000. And then there’s PlanC, the party pooper, who doesn’t expect a peak this year at all. 🎉🙅♂️
Crypto analyst Benjamin Cowen, meanwhile, warns of a “70% drawdown,” which sounds about as pleasant as a toothache on a rainy Monday. 🦷🌧️
But Saylor remains optimistic, declaring this the “digital gold rush” from 2025 to 2035. 🏃♂️💨 “Mistakes will be made, fortunes will be created, and somewhere, a wizard will lose his hat,” he proclaimed, probably. 🧙♂️🎩
As of now, publicly-listed treasury companies hold a cool $117.91 billion in Bitcoin. 💰 But will it stay exciting? Or will it become as thrilling as a tax audit? Only time-and the institutions-will tell. ⏳🏦
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2025-09-20 09:48