Right, so there’s this Japanese hotel and investment firm, see? Metaplanet, they call themselves. Now, you’d think they’d be busy, I don’t know, ensuring the towels are fluffy and the mini-bar is adequately stocked. But no. They’ve decided to become, wait for it, the 10th-largest corporate Bitcoin holder in the world. One can only assume the shareholders are either thrilled or utterly bewildered. 🤔
Apparently, this Metaplanet chap, Simon Gerovich (presumably not related to that dodgy estate agent you met in Slough), notes that the firm, in a fit of what can only be described as Bitcoin-induced mania, purchased an additional 319 BTC. That’s Bitcoin, for those of you who still think BTC stands for British Telecom Cables. This little spree cost them a mere $26.3 million at an average price of $82,549 per Bitcoin. You know, pocket change. 💰
As it stands, the firm is now hoarding a grand total of 4,525 Bitcoin, which translates to a staggering $382.58 million. At the time of writing, of course. Which is subject to change the very moment you finish reading this sentence. Such is the nature of the beast. 😈
The top-ranked crypto asset, which sounds suspiciously like a prize-winning poodle, is trading at $84,675. It’s up nearly 1.5% in the past 24 hours. Which, in Bitcoin terms, is practically a geological timescale. ⏳
Gerovich, bless his cotton socks, has previously confessed that he “worries every day” that the company doesn’t own enough Bitcoin. One can only imagine the sleepless nights filled with visions of digital currency slipping through his fingers. 😨
“The window to buy won’t stay open forever. Soon, there will be two kinds of people: those who own Bitcoin and those who regret not buying it. At Metaplanet, we’re accumulating as much as we can so our shareholders can relax.” And presumably invest in some decent earplugs to block out the sound of Gerovich’s constant fretting. 👂
The CEO, in a moment of blinding clarity, also said late last month that he thinks more financial institutions will show interest in adopting BTC. You don’t say? Next, he’ll be telling us that water is wet. 🙄
Now, for the kicker. Metaplanet’s stock is down 10.92% in the past month, but, hold onto your hats, it’s up a mind-boggling 1,229.63% in the past year. Per data from MarketWatch, which, let’s be honest, could be making it all up. 🤪
The company, in its infinite wisdom, aims to acquire 10,000 Bitcoin by the end of 2025 and 21,000 BTC by the end of 2026. One wonders if they’ve considered the logistical nightmare of storing all that digital gold. 🤔
But wait, there’s more! Metaplanet also continues to operate a Tokyo hotel, which it plans to renovate and rebrand into “the Bitcoin Hotel.” One can only speculate as to what that entails. Perhaps the rooms are priced in Satoshis? Or maybe the mini-bar only stocks digital snacks. The mind boggles. 🤯
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2025-04-15 22:03