Below Deck Mediterranean Recap: Toilet Kisses

As a seasoned cinematic connoisseur with a penchant for maritime melodrama, I must admit that this week’s episode left me feeling as seasick as a greenhorn on a stormy night. The characters’ tangled webs of flirtation and unrequited affection were as nautical as the show itself, but the real drama unfolded in the leaky crew cabin – a tale as old as time, or at least as old as “Below Deck.”

Following a standout episode the previous week that ignited my spirit, I approached this one with heightened excitement. Regrettably, that excitement has been significantly diminished, much like the water-logged crew compartment. The initial segment of the episode predominantly focuses on the Ellie-Joe-Bri predicament, which no longer seems enjoyable (if it ever did). I find myself feeling both protective towards the women and disillusioned by their actions at the same time. While I wholeheartedly oppose any online bullying towards cast members, I must admit that the urge to comment “Find a job. Keep away from her.” on Joe’s posts is quite strong.

Initially, Joe appears sincere towards Ellie, as he openly admits his unwillingness for the date they had agreed upon earlier. He explains that he’s not seeking anything serious and feels unprepared for dating. Interestingly, Ellie too shares this preference and handles the rejection with more grace than anticipated. In a somewhat awkward moment, Joe inquires, “You don’t dislike me, do you?” This question from an adult man certainly raises eyebrows, as it suggests self-consciousness over his own image rather than considering her emotions. Ellie responds using casual email lingo to express her indifference: “No worries, thanks a ton!”

At their team’s social gathering, Ellie once again opts for an elaborate outfit, choosing a sparkling pearl two-piece set that seems perfect for a reality TV show like “Selling Sunset”. During dinner, she and Joe find themselves seated next to each other. I’d love a slow-motion commentary on how this seating arrangement unfolded. Instead of making an excuse or changing seats, Joe appears to be ending his attempts to string Ellie along. It seems he’s trying to win her over like a cat rolling out a ball of yarn, offering her a sip from his drink. She declines but seems to soften towards him again when he shares that he’s never been on a date before. This revelation shows us that Joe has only had one relationship, which ended in 2017. He mentions his desire to marry the next person he dates. This reasoning leaves me bewildered. It appears that he doesn’t understand the process of dating someone before deciding to marry them. If anyone seems too serious about a date, it’s Joe. He poses the question to Ellie about having children. I’m utterly astonished by his audacity in this situation.

In this group, there are many men who are oblivious to certain situations, as Iain discusses his positive views on the season with Aesha. Unbeknownst to him, Aesha is grappling with the possibility of letting people go. For now, the stews are managing well enough to keep their jobs, but Aesha is still aggravated by having to cover for them more than necessary. It appears that the dynamic between the stews might be improving, as Bri attempts to empathize with Ellie about Joe at the bar. She’s learned about him backing out of a date and expresses sympathy. However, Ellie manages to turn the conversation into a criticism of Bri being overly sensitive. Bri graciously accepts this, and later, Ellie considers it the best part of her night. Interestingly, Joe and Bri share a moment in the bathroom. After dancing together, Joe approaches Bri there, suggesting these women are like unpicked apples on a tree. She tells him off, but her words hold little conviction, and he joins her in the stall. We hear them kissing, and it seems that Bri manages to halt things from progressing further. The bathroom scene reminds me of a similar one in the latest episode of Industry, which serves to emphasize how unappealing this particular bathroom is in comparison. At least it has complete stall doors extending from floor to ceiling.

The next day, Bri tells Joe no more fucking around, and he seems to get it. They’ll stop flirting. Bri’s done, but she needs his help not to cross her boundaries. I don’t have much faith in this. Joe should look to Nathan, who has been patient with Gael and doesn’t think one date means marriage. She hasn’t had time to fully resolve the feelings from her breakup but agrees to go rock climbing. Once Nathan’s four feet off the ground, he realizes he’s afraid of heights. Gael must really like him because she doesn’t get the ick and supportively talks him through rappelling down. They kiss when they return to the boat and later cuddle on a break.

Tomorrow’s charter brings a storm reminiscent of a Mediterranean hurricane, known as a Medicane, approaching. The unused crew cabin has started leaking once more, and the source seems to be a hose that wasn’t properly sealed in the bosun’s locker above it. Engineers have identified the problem and fixed it, hopefully making the cabin functional again. We’re looking forward to possibly adding a fourth stewardess to our team; her fresh energy would be welcome. However, whether she will replace Bri, whose laundry room remains too untidy according to Sandy’s standards, remains to be seen.

Our new primary is Pamela Duke, the Florida-based owner of a “nautical-themed jewelry line.” A little research reveals it’s called Nau-T-Girl Jewelry and has a Captain Sandy collection, so I’m guessing they’ll get along. Pamela and her guests arrive with buckets of positive energy but are completely deflated when Sandy tells them they’ll be stuck on the dock for the first day because of Medicane Daniel. To make up for it, Jono goes all out with appetizers and makes sushi for lunch. He does a prawn-roll special for Jennifer because she doesn’t eat raw fish. I held my breath this whole scene, remembering the preview where someone allergic gets served fish. I’m not sure if it’s her, and I’m trying to track which plate is which like it’s a shell game. I’ll be on edge for Jono until they’re safely off the boat. I still don’t have much faith in his cooking skills, but he’s really grown on me as a personality. He may not excel at one thing, but he’s a man of many talents and interests. Jono cooks, twerks, sleeps, architects, and even, as we learn this week, does show-horse jumping. Well, he did as a kid, and he claims to use that discipline now. Personally, I prefer chefs who don’t associate making food with horses.

Aesha arranges an indoor wine-tasting adventure indoors, but heavy rain is falling rapidly. Sandy predicts approximately 30 inches of rain, which is incredibly unusual given that Athens typically gets only about 14 inches in a year! As the vans transport Aesha, Nathan, and their guests towards the winery, the roads appear to be flooding. The guests decide it’s safer to stay on the ship instead, an option that seems wise. I find it surprising that Sandy didn’t reach out first to warn them about the heavy rainfall.

On the vessel, alarms are blaring, causing me to momentarily pause the television twice to ensure it isn’t my building’s alarm. Am I overly cautious, or do I simply have poor spatial hearing? Most likely, a blend of both. Sandy suspects the boat is taking on water once more, prompting Iain to revisit the damp crew quarters. Thus, my chances of gaining a fourth stewardess seem slim. The final scene shows him cursing and wriggling into a leaking ceiling. I can’t help but imagine it as a portal similar to that in Coraline, through which Iain is venturing to an alternate world where he is Sandy’s favorite. Will we ever lay eyes on him again?

2024-08-20 06:54

Below Deck Mediterranean Recap: Toilet Kisses

Read More

Minority Mindset