Below Deck Mediterranean Recap: Goldilocks Joe

As a seasoned sailor who’s spent more nights on yachts than I care to remember, let me tell you, this latest charter on Below Deck Mediterranean had more twists and turns than the Amalfi Coast road. The crew was like a dysfunctional family, complete with backstabbing, flirting, and some questionable fashion choices.

It came as quite a surprise to many that only one charter (with just two more episodes) remains in this season. This week was filled with more of the usual arguments, leaving little expectation for anything thrilling to unfold. The constant mention of Sandy proposing to her girlfriend Leah makes me feel like we’re waiting for the grand finale of a predictable high school movie. I hope Sandy gets a special moment without it turning into a grand production milked for every last bit of drama in this lackluster season.

However, we haven’t reached the end just yet. This episode begins with Aesha enjoying her first meal of the season, all thanks to Carrie managing the bar successfully. Additionally, the new steward swiftly presses the guests’ clothes for dinner – I’m genuinely impressed by someone simply doing their job diligently and promptly, which makes me realize how poorly Ellie and Bri have been setting the bar. Meanwhile, Ellie continues to act superior, directing Carrie and Bri on where to hang up birthday decorations. It seems she’s taking on the role of the bossy group project leader who assigns tasks to others so they can do most of the work while she doesn’t have to do as much herself.

Jono is putting in a lot of effort to make amends, as evidenced by his impressive presentation of stuffed tomatoes that have been a hit among guests, along with the popular lamb entrée. Despite being ranked lower than other chefs in terms of cooking consistency within the franchise, he excels at working well with the interior staff and ensuring food is served on time. I might not choose his restaurant for dining, but I’d be pleased to visit one where he is a chef.

Who wouldn’t I want to go out for dinner with? That’s Joe. Gael is trying to resolve their issues, and he apologizes for his past remarks about calling her a princess. He promises not to do it again. However, Joe then confides in Nathan that he believes Gael dislikes him, asking his friend to intervene. This is new territory for Nathan, as he’s never had friends or partners who didn’t get along. Joe has made similar comments about Bri and Ellie, seemingly unbothered by their alleged dislike. Frankly, I’m tired of him not addressing even an inch-deep reason behind why his female colleagues might be upset with him. Instead, he continues the pattern with Carrie: teasing her by closing the laundry room door while she’s working inside and then running away. This man has the finesse of a prank call at midnight.

Following the meal, Aesha assigns Carrie the task of tending bar while Ellie clears the table. Ellie requests Carrie’s assistance, but Aesha takes charge instead. Later, when Carrie retrieves more drinks, Ellie suggests she might help with the dishes so Ellie can focus on service duties. Ellie seems frustrated about this situation. These married women from Ohio aren’t potential benefactors. Ellie believes she has been carrying the team and feels slighted by Carrie taking on more responsibilities. The following day, it is Carrie who serves lunch. Ellie should be grateful for the relief. Perhaps she doesn’t want to take a break because it would mean too much idle time for introspection. Carrie confides in Aesha that Ellie likes to handle tasks alone and claims she does not wish to create any problems, but their conversation seems more like gossip than sincere concern. I’m rooting for you, Carrie, to stir things up!

The attendees asked for water activities and a relay competition, prompting the crew to gather additional inflatables. Joe devised an obstacle course/swimming relay involving the guests, which was supposedly Iain’s responsibility to organize in advance. With Iain barely making appearances these days, he seems more like a background character than a cast member. Frankly, I can’t help but admire him for showing up and getting paid without contributing much at all.

The ship, named Mustique, docks for the evening due to strong winds, a decision I endorse wholeheartedly given my newfound fear of waterspouts. Navigating the dark waters is manageable as guests enjoy their dinner. The service, though not perfectly synchronized, is satisfactory; they lay down half the plates at once, then the remainder. I’m eager for the day when they can set all eight plates simultaneously. Aesha appears content; she feels the standards have finally risen to her level now that there’s a fourth stew onboard. The color-coded laundry system for crew seems effective for Bri, who shares that she used colors in her school notes as well. In conclusion, the charter has been a success, earning them a tip of $20,000 and most importantly, Sandy’s praise for the crew.

A major negative in my book is that Ellie gets sucked back into Joe’s orbit. Apparently, she’s forgotten about all those NFL players in her DMs. As she and Carrie clean the cabins, she fills the newbie in on Joe’s past make-outs and how he led them on. However, Ellie says it’s hard to be mad at him because he’s a sweetie, and she does care about him. I think the caring about him line is her trying to tell Carrie she’s still interested, but she’s too opaque. (Kind of like her self-tanner, which accidentally gets on Carrie’s clothes when they bump into each other getting ready for a night out.) Carrie may be easygoing because she knows their time together will be short, but the two are like a pair of betta fish in the same tank. Carrie knows not to fight directly with Ellie and reports her behavior to Aesha instead. She tells the chief stew about Ellie telling her to do less work, and Aesha says she’ll tell Ellie only to give Carrie assignments when Aesha is on break. Sadly, we don’t get to see this yet, but I look forward to Ellie’s reaction.

Following dinner, Jono and Iain retire to their boat while others continue dancing. The diverse choice of clothing is amusing, with Bri opting for a casual t-shirt and jeans, contrasted by Ellie’s flashy, semi-formal cocktail party attire. It’s not conspicuous enough to catch Joe’s eye. In an attempt to reignite their connection, Ellie subtly reminds him of their past moments at the club, but he remains engrossed in Carrie. Joe compares the women to Goldilocks: he finds Ellie too aloof, Bri too emotional, and Carrie seems to be just right. The heat from his sweater is uncomfortable, so he purchases a shirt from an unknown vendor. There are numerous questions raised about this situation, but the essential plot point is that Joe does not return to Ellie, whom he was dancing with earlier, instead making a beeline for Carrie. In an interview, an upset Ellie states, “No sane man would turn down an amazing evening with me.” I can’t help but emit an involuntary sigh. Bri tries to console Ellie outside, but she is eager to conclude the season and return home. Carrie confronts Joe about his rumored encounters with other women, and he dismisses them as drunken kisses.

Joe persists in making impulsive, drunken decisions while driving back to the yacht. He unexpectedly books a 16-quid flight to Ireland to see Nathan, which seems like Ryanair promotion. Gael is upset because Nathan didn’t discuss their post-season travel plans with her first, and Joe booking flights ahead of time makes her feel like she can no longer expect anything from Nathan. This reminds her of how her ex neglected her priorities. The breakup is still raw, and Aesha comforts Gael as she cries. Ellie angrily tells Joe to move on as he passes by Bri and Carrie in the crew mess with her. It appears they are either oblivious to the distress they’re causing or choose to disregard it. Joe and Nathan seem carefree, dangling from their top bunk with Carrie, resembling the rhyme “Five Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed.” They might not hurt themselves by falling off, but there will certainly be aftermath.

2024-09-10 05:55

Below Deck Mediterranean Recap: Goldilocks Joe

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