Banks Buying Bitcoin, Ponzi Schemes, and El Salvador: Latin America’s Week in Crypto is Just… Wow

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Alright, listen up! You want crypto news? You got crypto news. Here’s your Latam Insights—because, apparently, we can’t go a week in Latin America without wild stories involving billions, bitcoin, and some guy with too many watches. Let’s dive in so you can say “I read about it” before everyone else at lunch. 🧐

Hold My Coffee: Latam’s “Strategy” Gets a Twin Called Oranje, Throws Millions at Bitcoin

So, we’ve got a new player jumping into the bitcoin pool—let’s see if they make a splash or just end up soaked. According to some Brazilian business scoop, Itau BBA (yes, the bank you see everywhere) is about to give birth—figuratively, relax!—to “Oranje.” What’s special here? Oh, only that they want to hoard bitcoin like a doomsday prepper hoards canned beans.

Who’s in on it? Oh, a bunch of every-bitcoin-person-you’ve-never-heard-of (unless you’re already way too deep in crypto Twitter): Guilherme Gomes (ex-Swan Bitcoin, which is a real place, apparently), Guilherme Ferreira (Bahema’s boss), Fernando Ulrich (bitcoin pioneer, whatever that means), and Josh Levine, who played for Bridgewater or—no, wait, that’s a hedge fund, not a soccer team.

The pitch? If you give them your bitcoin, they’ll “try” to give you a 45% yield. Yeah, 45%, not a typo! Sounds like the tooth fairy’s running their investment committee. But hey, they want to pile up $210 million worth of bitcoin just to “generate revenue.” Good luck, fellas. Tell us how that brand-building goes! 🤑

El Salvador’s Bitcoin Obsession: Even the IMF Can’t Stop This Train

Over in El Salvador, President Bukele and his crew just won’t quit. They promised the IMF they’d chill on the bitcoin but, surprise surprise, they’re still buying like it’s Black Friday for digital gold. Economy Minister Maria Luisa Hayem: “Oh, yeah—we’re committed. We’re doubling down. Have you seen our wallet?” Probably flashing screenshots like proud parents.

“There’s a commitment of President Bukele to keep accumulating assets as a way to do precisely that.”

Translation: We’re gonna keep stacking satoshis until someone takes away our hardware wallet. They’re now up to 6,162 BTC, a cool $583 million. And, get this, they’re grabbing one BTC a day—like it’s a vitamin supplement. Imagine that habit in a year. Imagine the cold storage fees. Crazy. 🤷‍♂️

Operation Fantasos: Brazil’s Answer to “CSI: Crypto Ponzi Unit”

Now, can you even talk about Latin America and crypto in the same breath without mentioning a Ponzi scheme? Enter “Operation Fantasos,” which, incidentally, means “Make-Believe.” The police basically raided the Monopoly Man’s yacht party.

Here’s the rundown: Over 50 officers put on their best “we mean business” faces and swooped into Rio, hunting down the remnants of a little oopsie called Trade Coin Club—a $290 million “investment opportunity” that somehow bought its CEO, Douver Braga, a boatload of… well, boats. And watches. And a lot of other shiny stuff.

So what’d they get? Oh, just $280 million, a boat (of course), piles of electronics, jewelry, cash, probably a partridge in a pear tree. Braga’s now working on his Brazilian “Catch Me If You Can” routine in jail. 👮‍♂️⛵

Want to keep watching this circus? Sure you do—just sign up for the Latam Insights newsletter below. Someone’s gotta keep an eye on this crypto soap opera.

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2025-05-04 19:57