Crypto Sawtooth Circus: Wild Rallies, Faceplants, and a Whale’s Shrug—You Won’t Believe #4!

Key takeaways

CONFLUX [CFX], Pudgy Penguins [PENGU], Ethena [ENA] rode the updraft like a barn swallow in a gale. Meanwhile, Pump.fun [PUMP], Tezos [XTZ], and Sonic [S] tripped over their own shoelaces and tumbled to new lows. 🐋

This week, the crypto market did its best impression of a high-wire act in a windstorm. Hold onto your hats—or better, your wallets.

An ancient Satoshi whale shuffled 80,000 Bitcoin [BTC] from under its digital mattress, but the market only yawned. Turns out, Bitcoin’s got nerves of steel or too many mint juleps to care.

Elsewhere, BlackRock’s ETH ETF crossed the $10 billion mark. Wall Street’s all-in on Ethereum—just pray they remember where they parked it.

In the pit, a pack of underdog tokens brawled over the title of best and worst dressed. No clear winner, but plenty of bruises and a healthy dose of delusion.

Weekly winners

Conflux [CFX] — The Comeback Kid or Just Another Tall Tale?

Conflux [CFX] strutted into the week, chin high, rolling up 30% from a $0.105 open. If confidence was gold, they’d be Texas rich.

They pulled a 122% Houdini act straight to $0.246. Everybody hooted, RSI broke a sweat, and then—blammo!—back down 80%. Some folks called it a ‘healthy retrace’, but I’ve seen healthier things in the county jailhouse.

This kind of market chop can make a riverboat gambler cry. CFX bounced 20% off $0.15, maybe building a new base, maybe just killing time until the next bender. If bulls don’t fall asleep at the wheel, we might yet see another swing at $0.20. Or maybe they just snuck back up for a second helping of crow.

Pudgy Penguins [PENGU] — March of the Crypto Emperor Penguins 🐧

Pudgy Penguins [PENGU] waddled in close behind, posting 28% gains and wearing that price action like a brand-new tuxedo. None of CFX’s rollercoaster—just a steady waddle over resistance.

PENGU started pecking at $0.03, hesitated, then took off. A midweek wobble didn’t stick; buyers came back faster than a dog to leftovers. Reclaimed $0.40 and still strutting—if this keeps on, $0.05 is right in their flipper’s reach.

Ethena [ENA] — The Protocol with a License to Print Optimism

Ethena [ENA] stormed into third place with a 24.15% gain, hotfooting it into the $0.60 kitchen. It started below $0.50, took a quick -11% dive like it dropped its keys, then bounced back nearly 30% in three days. The crowd went wild—or maybe just slightly less pessimistic.

After a tiny pullback (call it the neighbor’s dog barking), ENA’s bid side looks sounder than Farmer Jones’ barn. Flip $0.60 and August could get rowdy.

Other notable winners

Outside the polite company of major coins, the quacks and squeals got loud.

Memecoin [MEMECOIN] went nuclear—up 4,445%. Zora [ZORA] zipped up 382%, and Uranus [URANUS]—yes, I’m not making this up—blasted 330%. When nonsense pays, everybody’s a philosopher.

Weekly losers

Pump.fun [PUMP] — Somebody Pulled the Plug, but Forgot to Tell the Meme

There’s nothing fun about Pump.fun [PUMP] if you bought the top. Down 34.62% from $0.0042, it’s now the poster child for expensive lessons.

Heavy ICO-era bags? You bet. Millions spent on buybacks, but those tokens now worth about as much as good intentions at tax time.

Sure, some late ‘green shoots’ in market cap and volume might be just devs spoofing FOMO, or maybe it’s hope on life support. Unless PUMP can stack two green weeklies, reversal calls are wilder than Mississippi moonshine.

Tezos [XTZ] — Governance Protocol Got Outvoted (by Bears)

Tezos [XTZ] dropped 17.23% this week, straight after last week’s 66% rally. It’s like watching a rodeo cowboy get launched, stick a landing, and then trip on his own boots. Distribution behavior? If it walks, talks, and falls like a duck.

Price tagged $0.80 and bounced to $0.90, so somebody’s still buying the dip. If bulls don’t quit, we might see an attempt at $1, but the red candles look bigger from here.

Sonic [S] — Fast Going Nowhere

Sonic [S] sped into third-worst territory, dropping 15% after burning bright for the past fortnight. The $0.40 ceiling proved tougher than an ornery mule. Sellers came out swinging and the price settled at $0.32, where it’s squatting. If this is the bottom, we may see Sonic try another lap—otherwise, it’s more pit stop than comeback.

Other notable losers

The market’s underbelly got thoroughly paddled: Nobody Sausage [NOBODY] hit -38%, MindWaveDAO [NILA] flopped -36.7%, and FUNToken [FUN] was noticeably unfun, down 36.6%. Like a county fair, not everybody leaves with a prize.

Conclusion

In sum, the market bucked harder than a Missouri mule on payday. Lots of action, plenty of bruises, and hardly a dull moment. If your fortune swung with it, you’ve got a story—just remember, legends sound better with a little exaggeration and a lot less leverage. 😉

2025-07-27 22:38