FBI Drops Probe on Kraken’s Powell: Devices Returned, Drama Unplugged 🎉

The FBI has finally admitted defeat in its quest to unravel the mysteries of Jesse Powell’s life, closing its investigation and returning his gadgets like they were just… uh… misplaced.

In a stunning act of bureaucratic generosity, federal prosecutors sent Powell a declination letter—basically the legal equivalent of a “You’re free to go” coupon. No charges, no drama, just a polite nod and a stack of paperwork.

Federal Authorities Close Case, Return Devices

With this decision, one of crypto’s most dramatic legal sagas has been quietly shelved, like an unsolved mystery in a library labeled “Don’t Ask.” According to court documents and Fortune, the DOJ issued a formal letter stating Powell will face no charges—because apparently, even the universe has a sense of humor, albeit a cruel one.

The seized devices, now returned, include Powell’s laptop, phone, and likely his collection of existential crisis journals. Attorney statements confirm the case is closed, and the lack of a press release from the DOJ or FBI suggests they’re still confused about what they were investigating. 🤷♂️

Critically, the FBI’s inquiry had nothing to do with Kraken or cryptocurrency. Instead, it revolved around a Sacramento nonprofit, the Verge Center for the Arts, which Powell co-founded. Because nothing says “federal investigation” like a $500,000 donation and a boardroom squabble. Classic.

Powell’s legal filings in California Superior Court detail his civil claims against board members, alleging mismanagement and breach of fiduciary duty. Naturally, this triggered a federal probe, because why not? It’s not like the FBI has better things to do, like solving actual crimes or figuring out how tea bags work. ☕

Powell Responds to Investigation’s End

The raid left Powell’s reputation in tatters and his daily life resembling a surrealist painting. Now, with his devices back and no charges, he’s vowing to “move forward”—probably by hiring a therapist and rebranding his image as “victimized artist.”

“Very glad to have this behind me. It never made sense but neither does the Roman Storm trial. Wild how quickly you can have your life upended. I’m grateful for those who saw through it and for my stellar legal team. Now, turning my attention back to Kraken,” Jesse Powell posted on X, while secretly plotting revenge against the universe. 🐍

Powell’s statement blends relief with the determination of a man who’s just survived a bureaucratic horror show. His focus now shifts to civil litigation against Verge’s board, where he’ll no doubt argue that the allegations were as credible as a used tissue. 🧻

Legal experts warn that even closed cases can leave lingering reputational damage, like a bad smell in a sock drawer. Powell’s new mission: rebuilding his image and defending his philanthropy in court, because nothing says “trust me” like a man who once had the FBI at his door. 🙌

2025-07-23 15:49

Federal Authorities Close Case, Return Devices

Powell Responds to Investigation’s End

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