Bitcoin Soars After Musk’s Madcap Political Gambit—Is the World Now Run by Tweets?

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On a day when even the sun seemed to blink with confusion, Bitcoin—the trickster prince of currencies—danced perilously close to the $110,000 mark. The culprit? None other than Elon Musk, that wizard of self-reinvention, now declaring that Bitcoin shall take up residence in his fresh-baked confection, the “American Party.” 🎩🐇

After dismissing fiat money as “hopeless”—a diagnosis for which no second opinion was sought—Musk, with the swagger of a man mixing vodka into his morning tea, took up Bitcoin’s banner. One might suspect he’s preparing for an interplanetary economy, or simply bored again.

In grand fashion, Musk flounced away from the Republican Party, his billowing cape catching on the sharp edges of a tax and budget bill so bloated it might burst at any moment (and quite possibly splatter us all in deficit paint). The drama! The fiscal mayhem!

Dennis Porter, helmsman of the Satoshi Action Fund, called it a “massive” moment for the cryptocurrency. “Massive!”—as if a meteor had struck Wall Street and all the brokers were now wearing rabbit ears.

The Republicans—perhaps snubbed that Musk’s affections have wandered—are already puffing up their cheeks in pursuit of a crypto utopia. One wonders whether the US will become the crypto capital or simply a really expensive arcade. 🕹️💸

Musk himself, an old friend of Bitcoin (sometimes more, sometimes less, but always with expensive taste), is doing his best to make Bitcoin front-page news on the political stage. No word yet if Satoshi Nakamoto will be nominated Secretary of Treasury, but stranger things have happened. Trust me—I saw a cat run for mayor once.

And let’s not forget Tesla: the electric chariot company whose name is synonymous with price volatility and whose Bitcoin stash, acquired back in the roaring year of 2021, still ranks among the corporate high-rollers. One might ask—does the car come with cryptocurrency air fresheners now?

The plot thickens like week-old borscht: Musk also allegedly clicked “like” on a post hinting that he’d been buying Bitcoin under the table. Oh, the intrigue! Pass the popcorn, comrades.

As for Dogecoin (DOGE), Musk’s favorite canine-themed jest, it naturally jumped in giddy excitement—a digital puppy chasing after the master’s Twitter stick. Can you blame it? Woof woof!

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2025-07-07 10:22