The Valley Recap: Aloha-ha-ha

by

Occasionally, while watching shows like Marvel’s recent productions or series with planned sequels, such as 28 Years Later, there can be a minor character who stands out oddly. This character could be played by a well-known actor, have an unusual physical characteristic, or simply behave in such a peculiar manner that they don’t seem to belong in their environment. Such characters often make viewers think, “This guy is definitely going to become the antagonist in the next installment.” In the case of Scott, Jesse’s “life coach,” who seems to be subtly inserting himself into the show like glitter from a child’s art project might find its way into uncomfortable places, it appears small now, but I suspect that within three years, he will lead a cult and Janet will be searching for a deprogramming expert to free her husband. Fortunately, Brock won’t fall victim to this because, despite his many assets, he doesn’t have a mind susceptible to manipulation.

Under Scott’s persuasion, Jesse gathers a gathering for men, likening it to sixteen episodes of the Joe Rogan podcast merged into one and carrying an aroma of Lynx Lower Body Spray and ZYN. According to Scott, such a group is necessary as only men can comprehend each other’s struggles. However, haven’t we learned about empathy? Women too can grasp what men are experiencing; they just view it as nonsense and believe that men should mature and attempt to live as women for even thirty seconds without losing their balance, having their eyes pop out, or their hearts pounding until they collapse into a heap of cells on the kitchen floor. To clarify, I am a man and can’t comprehend their struggles either, so yes, that’s correct. (By the way, wasn’t Zack left out of this male gathering? It seems only heterosexual men are considered genuine men.)

In simpler terms, Scott gathers everyone together in a circle and encourages them to link arms, mimicking a pickup basketball game setup. This was when I understood that we were about to experience a men’s retreat, one infamous for an awkward video involving Teresa Giudice’s husband, Luis Ruelas, surrounded by grunting, shirtless men. Scott then informs the group that if they harbor resentments, it needs to be addressed and listed (NeNe Leakes’ “Okkkkk” GIF), so each man must confront his feelings directly toward another, placing a hand on their chest (NeNe Leakes’ “It’s Getting Weird” GIF). As NeNe would react, I was genuinely taken aback by Scott’s instructions. Frankly, I nearly vomited the peanut butter and jelly toast I had for breakfast when this strange plan unfolded on my screen. Honestly, I can’t explain what’s wrong with men, but this is not a solution to their problems.

The majority of the issues being addressed here seem insignificant. Jesse apologizes to Luke for a past incident, while Jason and Danny make amends and quickly forgive each other. On the other hand, Jax Taylor’s tears appear insincere, leading Scheana Shay to question his authenticity. The men then accuse Danny of concealing his drinking habit, which he appears to acknowledge. However, Scott claims that all men are cunning and sneaky. One might wonder if he is certain about this statement, considering his choice of attire during summer months. Additionally, it seems we’re expected to overlook Danny’s actions as a common male behavior?

As the boys hang out at Jesse’s, gradually getting acquainted with the manosphere, the ladies are dining at El Coyote. The scene was certainly peculiar. They were all crammed into a horseshoe-shaped booth, with Janet and Michelle on one end and Kristen and Nia on the other. Suddenly, Janet started acting oddly and spewing incoherent statements, much like those singing fish your hillbilly uncle has hanging on his wall. Michelle was irked because she suspected that Kristen had introduced Jenna, the strange girl who once dated Michelle’s ex-boyfriend Aaron, to the group. It turned out to be Zack! Everyone there knew it. Yet, Michelle accused Kristen. It’s just another instance of this show being filled with people accusing others of spreading rumors they didn’t initiate.

Janet angrily scolds Kristen over something she wasn’t responsible for; she claims it’s about keeping Kristen in check. Kristen leaves in a huff, and Jasmine expresses that Janet is being excessive. By the way, Jasmine. Soon, she’ll tell us that Jax has severe ego issues and addiction problems. How would we manage without her insights?

Nia gets involved in a heated situation and begins to tear up, expressing that it’s “too overwhelming.” Janet criticizes Nia for crying whenever things get intense, accusing her of spreading a rumor about Jason not wearing his wedding ring – a lie she had previously pinned on Jasmine. In reality, Kristen was the one who initiated the rumor. The entire situation resembles a game of ‘Musical Chairs’ where everyone finds themselves seated, but unfortunately, they are not in their proper chairs.

At the bizarre school event later on, Janet claims that she’s pinning the rumor on Nia and Danny because Kristen spread it to shield them. Are you kidding me? This woman seems to be talking in riddles! It’s not as if Nia and Danny instructed Kristen to start this rumor for their defense; that’s just Kristen being her usual self. It’s like getting upset at Luke when he wants to do a nitrous balloon in the parking lot of a Phish concert. She’s way off base. She’s even more off than Brittany’s misguided attempt at covering up in Hawaii, which doesn’t even come close to covering her properly or fitting right.

First, there’s some crucial matters to attend to before we embark on the Hawaii trip. Luke needs to deliver his gecko to Kyle Chan since aside from being a jeweler to celebrities, Kyle also looks after reptiles in his spare time. It seems that Luke and Kyle have managed their unique arrangement quite well without any help needed from me.

Brittany and Jax are expected to have a meeting to discuss their shared responsibilities as parents. The exact duration of Jax’s time out of rehab is uncertain, but it appears that he has yet to see his son. When Brittany was late for the meeting, Jax implied she was habitually tardy with a comment similar to “Women are always shopping!”. Upon calling her, Brittany explained that she couldn’t attend because her social media messages were flooded with images of Jax getting drunk at his bar the previous night and spending time with other women. She expressed her disappointment that despite his 30-day stay in rehab, Jax hasn’t shown any signs of change.

Jax clarifies that they’ve parted ways, and now Brittany can’t boss him around regarding his personal time. Frankly, I must agree. Jax is free to socialize with any woman he chooses, even inviting them over if he desires. Although it’s unlikely, he might choose to perform intimate acts with them, but I doubt he has ever done so before. The key point is that he can do so if he wishes, despite the fact that he probably wouldn’t. She has no control in this situation. However, when it comes to substance abuse, there’s a different story. If Jax continues to excessively use drugs and alcohol, and believes he can look after his son without supervision for extended periods, then clearly that is Brittany’s concern. She should have confronted him about it directly, but ultimately it remains her issue to address.

After everyone, apart from Jax, sets off for Hawaii, Jesse is upgraded to a presidential suite, but ends up having to share it with Zack and Benji, who refuse to leave the party bathroom. Initially, most focus is on Jason, Janet, Nia, and Danny as they have a chat by the pool. Janet begins by expressing regret for her outburst at Nia during the girls’ dinner, attributing it to excessive drinking. “That early in the evening?” Nia questions with an understated aggression that even my English neighbors show deference towards. They then choose to let bygones be bygones, and Janet expresses gratitude for being included on the trip. However, it’s evident that she wouldn’t have extended the same invitation to them. Yes, Janet, we all are aware of that.

Subsequently, the focus shifts towards Jesse and Aaron, Michelle’s boyfriend, who has accompanied them on their trip. Notably, Aaron is offering an abundance of body tea on the beach, so much that he might need to sweeten it with honey. Meanwhile, Jesse appears upset because Aaron is dating a woman who is still married and hasn’t communicated with him about spending time with his daughter. I must clarify that this isn’t how things should be handled. Instead, Jesse should clearly express his boundaries regarding his daughter’s relationships with other men in Michelle’s life. It is ultimately up to Michelle to determine whether or not these boundaries are enforced. It’s important to note that Jesse and Aaron do not share any kind of relationship.

Jesse, Scott, Jax Taylor, and others who sport unironic goatees may not comprehend this fact. The bonds they share with each other as men hold little significance if they neglect the well-being of the women in their lives. Regardless of your gatherings, camaraderie, or displays of masculinity, remember that you are less important and have less control than you might believe.

Read More

2025-06-25 05:54