It appears the Russians have found a new use for Bitcoin, and it’s not buying vodka online. No, it seems their Federal Security Service (FSB) and Main Intelligence Directorate (GRU) have been using it to fund their latest spy capers, and they’re not above recruiting teenagers to do their dirty work 🤯. Because, you know, who needs trained spies when you can get a 17-year-old to do the job for a few hundred bucks? 🤑
According to a joint investigation by Reuters and some blockchain analytics firms with names that sound like they were made up by a Bond villain (Global Ledger and Recoveris, anyone?), a Canadian teenager was recruited via Telegram (because, of course, that’s where all the cool spies hang out) to install surveillance cameras and spread propaganda targeting the Polish military. And for this, he was paid a whopping $500 in Bitcoin. I mean, that’s like, what, a week’s worth of avocado toast? 🥑
But here’s the thing: this wasn’t just some rogue agent with a Bitcoin wallet and a bad idea. No, it seems there’s a whole shadowy network of cryptocurrency-funded espionage going on, with a $600 million wallet that’s been used to send payments to all sorts of nefarious characters. And it’s not just limited to spying, either – apparently, they’re also using Bitcoin to recruit youths in Poland for acts of vandalism and arson, hire mercenaries in Donbas, and even bribe European politicians. Because, you know, who needs ethics when you have cryptocurrency? 🤑
Now, I know what you’re thinking: “But Bill, isn’t Bitcoin supposed to be all about freedom and decentralization and stuff?” And to that, I say: yes, it is. But it’s also about anonymity, which makes it the perfect tool for all sorts of illicit activities. And let’s be real, folks – if the Russians are using it to fund their spy operations, you can bet your bottom dollar that other state actors are doing the same. So the next time you’re tempted to invest in Bitcoin, just remember: you might be funding a teenager’s spy adventure 🤫.
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2025-06-15 13:08