Cryptic Criminals and Crooks: The Moroccan Misadventure! 🤔

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In what can only be described as the latest episode of “Criminals Gone Wild,” a chap suspected of masterminding a series of French crypto kidnappings has been nabbed in Morocco. Because, of course, what’s more charming than a bit of international skulduggery over a few digital coins? 🕵️‍♂️

At the behest of the French authorities — probably in their finest hour since the invention of the baguette — Morocco’s finest police and spooks decided to play a little game called “Catch the Crook.” They arrested Badiss Mohamed Amide Bajjou — a sprightly 24-year-old of French-Moroccan descent, who was discovered in possession of an impressive collection of pointy weapons and a plethora of mobile phones, possibly to keep tabs on his numerous misadventures.

Gérald Darmanin, France’s Minister of Justice and part-time internet cheerleader, took to X (formerly known as Twitter) on June 4 to cheer the arrest. He called it “a fine example of the excellent judicial teamwork between our two countries,” which is French for “we’re pretty happy someone caught this fellow before he started a band.”

Meanwhile, Interpol, always on the lookout for globetrotting scoundrels, had already issued a “red notice” — basically, a global “Hey, this guy’s dangerous” shout-out — in 2023, linking Bajjou to a dastardly series of kidnappings and other criminal escapades. Nothing says a good time like international crime, eh? 🌀

Crypto Kidnaps and a Daring Daylight Distraction

The latest caper took place in the broad daylight of May 13 — hardly the best time to commit misdemeanors, but criminals never did go for the subtle approach, did they? Several masked men, evidently auditioning for “Robbery on the Rue,” tried to snatch the daughter and grandson of Pierre Noizat, the head honcho at French crypto darling Paymium. A real class act.

A passerby’s footage captures the whole chaos — Ms. Noizat, wielding what looked suspiciously like a brolly or perhaps a very sturdy umbrella, fought off the masked marauders with the tenacity of a pitbull on a squeaky toy, forcing them back into a waiting van, which then sped off faster than you can say “Bitcoin boom.”

En plein Paris, un homme a été violenté par des individus cagoulés, habillés tout en noir. Ils tentaient de l’enlever. Un homme a surgi, extincteur à la main, pour les faire fuir. →

— Le Figaro (@Le_Figaro) May 13, 2025

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2025-06-05 07:53