Crypto Chaos: Tariffs, ETFs, and Meme Coins—Oh My! 🚀💸

Market chaos

What to know:

By Omkar Godbole (Because who doesn’t love a good gamble)

So, apparently, the latest TACO tease—meaning “Trump Always Chickens Out”—didn’t exactly win the President’s love, leading to a global risk-off party. Investors are clutching their pearls, and Bitcoin is chilling at around $103K-$106K, because apparently nobody cares about crypto drama.

Anyway, on Friday, Trump said tariffs on aluminum and steel are tripling to 50%, which sent markets into full panic mode. BlackRock’s shiny spot Bitcoin ETF (IBIT) had a little tantrum and saw $430 million leave—because why not start the weekend with a money hemorrhage?

“Tariff tensions are basically the new Netflix obsession—staying relevant through June,” says Singapore-based QCP Capital. The big deadlines hit on July 8, so grab your popcorn and watch BTC stay in its comfy range between $100K and $110K, because stability is the new black.

Meanwhile, ETFs are flexing hard. Data from FalconX says that U.S. spot Bitcoin ETFs now handle over 40% of all spot volume—because who doesn’t want their crypto served with a side of high stakes speculation? The theory: “Bitcoin ETFs are the new marginal buyer,” says Bitwise, which is just fancy talk for “more people are throwing money at this than ever.”

On-chain data by Glassnode reports a wave of profit takers—basically traders realizing they might’ve missed their chance for easy riches and rushing to cash out. Stay classy, folks.

Crypto trader James Wynn just went all-in, opening a long with 40x leverage—because who needs sleep when you can gamble with other people’s money? 🎲

In other news, Japan’s Metaplanet bought 1,088 BTC because apparently mooning is too mainstream, and Elon Musk announced a new XChat that’s supposed to be Bitcoin-proof—because what the world really needs is a messaging app that can handle Elon’s brain.

Binance boss CZ suggested a dark pool-style decentralized exchange because who doesn’t love a bit of clandestine crypto action? ⚡

Meanwhile, gold is trying to break out of its snooze fest, with big banks warning us to keep an eye on the dollar’s future. The U.S. jobs report is coming, and everyone will be watching—probably with olives and martinis.

Token Talk — Because Meme Coins Are the New Kardashians

By Shaurya Malwa

Late Sunday, Elon Musk tweeted, “Kekius Maximus pit level 117, hardcore rank 1,” and suddenly frog memes and KEKIUS tokens started trending faster than your ex’s new fling.
The Ethereum version surged over 25%, hitting a market cap of $33 million—because apparently, meme tokens are the real future. Solana’s KEKIUS shot up 30%, proving that Elon is basically the crypto version of a magic pixie dust dealer.
Musk called himself “Kekius Maximus” on New Year’s Eve 2024—because what’s stock market dreams without a little chaos, right?
These tokens are built on social hype and little else—they’re basically the crypto equivalent of your weird cousin’s TikTok dances: charming until they blow up in your face.

Derivatives (Or How to Bet Your Life Savings)

HBAR, DOT, LTC are all riding high in perpetual futures—like the party animals of the crypto world.
Funding rates are mostly bullish—except for some party crashers XLM and TON.
BTC futures on CME are cooling off from 9.5% to 6.5%. ETH‘s still hot with over 8%. Shocking, right?
Options markets are panicking—fear of downside is in the air, but other expiries are just betting on a quick rebound. Classic.

Market Movements — Hold on to Your Hats

BTC chugging along at about $104,642.17 (because who doesn’t love round numbers?)
ETH dropped to $2,480.24—bye-bye, gains!
Stock markets are a mixed bag—some green, some red, mostly confused.

Market chaos part 2

DXY is down, gold is up, silver is shining. Basically, the usual “save your money” advice.
Global markets? Mostly red, some green. Because even stocks have mood swings.

Bitcoin Stats — The Numbers That Make You Go “Hmm”

Bitcoin dominance is holding at 64.62%, because why not?
Ethereum to Bitcoin ratio is slipping—probably crying in the corner.
Hashrate stays strong, because miners are still excited about the chaos.

Technical Analysis — Fancy Charts and Magic Tricks

Gold breakout chart

Gold might finally break out of its doldrums, signaling a broader uptrend that could boost BTC. Or just be a false alarm—who knows?

Crypto Stocks — Because Who Doesn’t Love a Little Equity Drama?

Names like MicroStrategy, Coinbase, and Riot are all just hanging out, mostly down, mostly unmotivated.

ETF Flows — Because More Money Is Always Better

Spot BTC ETFs:

Daily inflow: $616M, because apparently everyone wants to YOLO on Bitcoin.
Cumulative inflows: $44.35B—just in case you thought this was a phase.
Total holdings? About 1.2 million BTC—yep, that’s a lot of digital gold.

Spot ETH ETFs:

Daily inflow: $70M—because ETH is the new hotness.
Cumulative: $3.06B—almost a drop in the digital ocean.
Holdings: Around 3.66 million ETH—more than enough to make your grandma jealous.

Overnight Flows — Because the Crypto World Never Sleeps

Overnight Flow Chart

Chart of the Day — The Data That Will Make Your Brain Explode

Bitcoin ETF market share

The chart shows that U.S.-listed spot BTC ETFs now dominate, making up record-breaking portions of total Bitcoin trading—a very exclusive club.
Basically, ETFs are creeping into your crypto’s soul.