Coinbase’s Data Leak: 69,461 Users and a Whole Lot of Trouble! 🚨

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In a rather alarming filing with the Office of Maine’s Attorney General, it has come to light that Coinbase has identified a staggering 69,461 users who have been impacted by a data breach. Yes, you heard that right—69,461! That’s almost enough to fill a small stadium with people who are now regretting their life choices, like sharing their home addresses and phone numbers with a cryptocurrency exchange. 🤦‍♂️

69,461 User Records Stolen in Coinbase Hack

Last week, in a plot twist that could only be described as “not surprising at all,” Coinbase revealed that hackers had managed to infiltrate customer records by bribing overseas support staff. Because, of course, that’s how you do it in the 21st century! The assailants, who clearly missed their calling as negotiators, demanded a cool $20 million to keep their sticky fingers off the stolen data—a sum that Coinbase, in a fit of fiscal responsibility, firmly declined to pay. Now, thanks to the Maine Attorney General’s records, we can quantify just how deep the rabbit hole goes.

In a shocking turn of events, precisely 69,461 accounts were breached, including a mere 217 belonging to the fine folks of Maine. The intrusion, which occurred on the most festive of days—December 26, 2024—was attributed to what the company charmingly termed “insider wrongdoing.” Because nothing says “trustworthy” like a little insider mischief, right?

The breach was officially discovered on May 11, 2025, which is just a tad late for those affected, but hey, better late than never! Coinbase even included a template of its notification letter to the affected Maine customers in the filing, courtesy of their “outside counsel” from Latham and Watkins LLP. Because nothing screams “we care” like a legal template!

This revelation follows mounting apprehension that the breach may precipitate significant repercussions. But don’t worry, it’s all just a part of the grand cosmic joke we call life! 😂

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2025-05-21 18:29