Hacks Recap: A Religious Experience

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I was thrilled for this episode just from its title, “D’Christening”: Kaitlin Olson is back! And my excitement doubled when I saw the opening scene, which featured not only another favorite character of mine from Hacks (hello, Kiki!) but also confirmation that I had hit the nail on the head with my idea for Deborah’s show – they were playing celebrity strip poker with special guests Seth Rogen and Kaia Gerber. I felt a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction, but then: Dance Moms returned. The Lord gives, as they say.

During the interview, Dance Mom appears to have a more glamorous Hollywood vibe – those stylish cowboy boots are quite chic! She’s joking around with Deborah about her new role as a grandmother now. A sweet touch was the stock image of a baby wearing one of Deborah’s signature wigs. By the way, she’ll be known as “Aunt Deborah” from now on. I can’t wrap my head around the fact that her dance performances are resonating with the studio audience. However, it seems like things are going smoothly for her, which means good news for her representatives, Jimmy and Kayla: Old Navy is offering her a deal, planning a significant investment in Deborah’s show. Isn’t the idea of synergy exciting!

Deborah has moved down to third place in the ratings, as you might have noticed. By the way, who do you think dropped to fourth? Ava proposes inviting a comedian as a guest. Deborah isn’t keen on the idea. Their team suggests having an “accused serial predator” on the show instead. Well, I was talking about fostering creative ideas during brainstorming when I said “no bad ideas.”

Deborah is now in third position in the ratings – it’s something you might have picked up. Wondering who slipped to fourth? Ava floats the idea of having a comedian on as a guest. Deborah isn’t keen. Their team proposes an “alleged serial predator.” But when I say “no bad ideas in brainstorming,” that’s not what I meant!

What’s crucial for us is that Ava and Deborah have returned to their work, behaving much like two teenagers who are smitten with each other – though professionally and creatively, of course. They’ve been having clandestine meetings in the stairwell to dodge Stacy and discuss the latest news, such as DJ christening her baby, AJ. (Their choice of names is quite remarkable.) Deborah holds a strong dislike for the Catholic Church, a sentiment that is reciprocated. Can you imagine they’re still embittered over her comment suggesting that being an altar boy is a good way to encounter older men? (“Mark Wahlberg still sends me a rosary every year – as a WARNING.”)

Thankfully, the plotline of Dance Moms is finally unfolding: Abby Lee Miller seems to be succumbing to the effects of fame, causing chaos in her personal life. On a separate note, Jimmy learns that Kayla, while standing in for her on the set of the Lassie remake, continues to bully her crew members. It will be interesting to see how this situation escalates. Earlier today, Abby Lee Miller had to take care of a Dance Mom who was quite intoxicated last night and almost needed her stomach pumped. She appears to be partying excessively. Meanwhile, the dog chosen to play Lassie is reportedly very difficult, as Kayla admits after the canine bit Jimmy. However, they only have four days left to complete filming.

The following day, Kayla uses a key she’s made for herself (since they both share a cleaning lady), to enter Jimmy’s home to inform him that Old Navy will no longer be working with Dance Mom due to her controversial social media activity. Despite Kayla’s thorough cleaning, she had overlooked Pinterest, where Dance Mom was posting content involving “softcore BDSM and hardcore ASMR,” which contradicts Old Navy’s values. Trying to handle the situation together, Kayla and Jimmy attempt to communicate with Dance Mom, who is residing in an expensive weekly rental of $25,000. It turns out she’s paying Adam Levine for it through Venmo, and they’ve been texting back and forth. The most surprising aspect of this disclosure is that she doesn’t have any biological children; her dancing acts as her offspring instead!

This episode focuses significantly on maternal figures. Besides Dance Mom, who nurtures her art, we encounter DJ, now mother to AJ, and Ava, whom DJ proposes as AJ’s godmother. At first, I must admit, I found myself questioning, Isn’t DJ lacking any friends of her own? However, the explanation behind DJ’s actions and the change in the relationship between DJ and Deborah was endearing. Initially, we may have been apprehensive about DJ deciding to have a baby, right? Yet, it seems that motherhood has given DJ a newfound strength to assert herself, something she couldn’t do or wouldn’t do without having a child of her own. It appears that DJ now possesses something Deborah desires and will go to great lengths to preserve: access to the baby.

At the church, it’s heartwarming to witness Marcus flourishing, as it seems his hair might be regrowing. Meanwhile, Deborah playfully teases Josefina about the priest having little stage presence. However, she receives an unexpected surprise: DJ has been appointed as a Eucharistic minister! This revelation leads to a heated argument between Deborah and DJ, culminating in red wine (symbolizing Christ’s blood) spilling all over the priest. I found Deborah’s comment amusing: “If you truly believe in that miraculous power, your guy could change that back into water.” Yet, DJ remains unimpressed.

In a side conversation, DJ firmly confronts Deborah: She’s turned every significant moment in DJ’s life, like the opening of Wet Seal, into opportunities to draw attention to herself. (We’ve witnessed this ourselves; recall last season’s sobriety anniversary?) DJ threatens Deborah that “the cycle of narcissism ends now,” or else they will reduce their interactions significantly, or even completely cut ties. To this, Deborah remains speechless.

Following the service, as DJ marketed her D’jewelry, she articulated why the church held more value to her than just fulfilling Aiden’s family’s expectations: It offered her son a sense of community and a belief system, something she had lacked in her life. Deborah found it hard to accept this claim – “I gave you opportunities to meet gay men in robes who enjoyed singing!” – but she could appreciate DJ’s other reason for cherishing the church: its business potential. DJ was selling her merchandise more successfully than ever before. Just as Jesus transformed water into wine, DJ could convert that wine into a profitable venture.

As a film enthusiast, I’m finding myself grappling with the weight of being Deborah’s godmother, after Marcus shared that his own godfather held a significant role in his life, teaching him the intricacies of long division among other things. I confess to DJ my apprehensions about being suitable for this task, but she reassures me with conviction. While long division might not be relevant here (“I’m not raising a nerd.”), what truly qualifies me is my connection with Deborah. “You see her in a light I never could,” I say, “I want him to know that version of her, not mine.” DJ confesses her envy of the bond I share with Deborah, even though she acknowledges it’s unattainable. This heartfelt exchange reveals the depth of our emotions and growth – making me think we all could use a session or two with DJ’s therapist.

During their drive home, Ava and Deborah, who were now alone together and growing quite affectionate, delved into discussions about religion and the concept of an afterlife. Deborah was pondering her distance, not just physically but spiritually, from her grandson, questioning what influence she would truly have in his life. Ava encouraged her to remember the legacy she was leaving behind, which was far more valuable than just a physical presence; Ava, on the other hand, found herself contemplating an unrelated topic regarding death – her belief that our bodies lose all significance post-mortem, and expressed a desire for someone to interact with her deceased body in some way. This intriguing thought will be saved for further consideration.

Inspired by it, Deborah drops by an open mic night to catch the quick-witted, up-and-coming comedian, Ahamed Weinberg. Later, she invites him onto her show, where he truly shines – amazing! May peace be upon us all.

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2025-05-16 05:54