Vinanz Limited, aka “We’re With the Cool Kids Now”, just scored a casual $4 million from some very serious-sounding bankers who wear ties and probably own hedge funds as pets. Yes, this is the same Vinanz listed on the London Stock Exchange—so British, it probably apologizes to its competitors when it out-performs them.
The plan? Splash out on even more Bitcoin and, because why stop with one party, maybe crash the NASDAQ as well. Dominari Securities (doesn’t that sound like a Bond villain?) helped them bag the funds. Backed by an international money overlord—who, for legal reasons, prefers to remain “A Global Investment Manager.” Intriguing.
The money isn’t just thrown at them all in one go (because, frankly, where’s the suspense in that?). They get $2 million up front—already spent on Bitcoin, probably while someone yelled ‘To the moon!’. The other $2 million? Only if Vinanz behaves. It’s like an episode of “The Apprentice”, but with fewer boardrooms and more blockchains.
The deal comes with more fine print than your iTunes agreement. There’s a 5% annual interest rate and a 12-month deadline. Oh, and the investor can turn their debt into Vinanz shares at whichever bargain rate makes their spreadsheet feel tingly—unless the share price hits 25p, or unless they get too grabby (nobody’s allowed more than 4.99% of the party at once, hands off the punch bowl).
Vinanz’s chairman David Lenigas is already practicing his “Yes, we do have £4m” face, calling this money-lifeline “timely” (corporate code for: ‘We definitely could have made it work with what we had, but this is SO MUCH BETTER.’). Dual NASDAQ listing is on the table. Institutional investors are circling. Crypto Twitter is, presumably, on fire.
Vinanz, by the way, is already strutting its stuff with ticker “BTC.L” in London and “VINZF” in the U.S… because every great company needs more than one nickname. Their mining ops? Scattered across Indiana, Iowa, Nebraska, Texas, and, for the full ‘international intrigue’, Labrador, Canada. Collecting Bitcoin from across the heartlands—very rugged, very now.
All this noise is happening while everyone in crypto acts like valuations are on a rollercoaster and the seatbelts are optional. Vinanz wants in, and who can blame them? The world’s finally starting to take Bitcoin seriously. Or at least, seriously enough to throw $4 million at it and hope for the best. 🚀💰
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2025-05-14 16:53