Bitcoin Rockets Toward New Heights Thanks to Trade Talks, or Possibly Witchcraft

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Imagine a giant gold coin with commitment issues—and a tendency to panic whenever two large countries so much as cough politely at one another. Yes, Bitcoin. It has soared above the lofty, nosebleed-inducing summit of $104,000, possibly because it thought gravity was just a suggestion. In the last week alone, it’s packed on over 10% in value, likely spending most of its time flexing in front of a metaphorical mirror.

Right now, Bitcoin’s strutting about at $104,325. That’s a mere 3.79% away from its January record of $108,786. Why? Apparently, President Donald Trump hinted at a U.S.-U.K. trade agreement on May 8, pumping the markets full of optimism—or at least something that smells very similar. Of course, now a new rumour is making the rounds, wearing a suspiciously familiar hat.

The White House—an institution famous for both negotiation and interpretive dance—issued an announcement on May 11. According to Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent and Trade Representative Jamieson Greer (whose job titles suggest much more excitement at cocktail parties than in real life), U.S.-China trade talks have made “substantial progress.” That’s diplomatic code for, “We’re still arguing, but at least we’re ordering lunch together now.” For the record, not a single “deal” was spotted in the wild during their statement. Not even a hint. Not even a snout.

What’s next? More questions and “clarity,” delivered with just the right amount of fog on May 12 during an official briefing. Markets love suspense, especially when the only thing at stake is everyone’s money. Bitcoin itself is feeling this drama acutely. Remember February’s tariff tantrum and April’s “Liberation Day” duties? Crypto plummeted so hard you could find its confidence somewhere south of Australia.

Investors are now peering over the edge with a brand of optimism best described as “cautious but curious, like a cat with a PhD.” The White House might be de-escalating, and Bitcoin’s inching back up toward $108,000, but for how long? Place your bets and don’t forget to tip the oracle.

Let’s not forget the numbers. SoSoValue data (which sounds like a wizard specializing in accounting spells) shows over $1.7 billion in fresh cash flowing into spot Bitcoin exchange-traded funds in the last month alone. This reversed the previous “trade war depression,” when even Bitcoin’s closest friends stopped answering its calls. ARK Invest reports that just 14% of Bitcoin is floating around on exchanges—a level not seen since 2018, when the blockchain was still in short trousers.

Meanwhile, the institutional bigwigs are hoarding Bitcoin like it’s dragon gold. Strategy’s 555,000 BTC hoard isn’t just sitting there; it’s practically filing for squatter’s rights. CryptoQuant’s Ki Young Ju called Bitcoin “deflationary,” pointing to an annual deflation rate of -2.23%. In other words, there’s more chance of finding a unicorn in your soup than a cheap Bitcoin on the open market. 🦄

Of course, should trade talks go the way of the dodo, market sentiment could flip faster than an Ankh-Morpork sausage in July. For today, though, Bitcoin is standing tall, pretending that nothing could possibly go wrong. Institutional money is still pouring in, and, who knows, that all-time high might soon need adjusting again. Either way, small investors everywhere will continue to dream—and possibly sweat a little.

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2025-05-12 09:47