Whitney Leavitt sits at the wheel of her Kia SUV, patiently waiting in a queue outside Swig, a drive-through beverage store on East Tabernacle Street, St. George, Utah. This spot is popular among Mormon practitioners, similar to Paddy’s Pub for those who can’t drink alcohol but can indulge in a sugar rush. Leavitt explains that her family doesn’t consume a lot of soda, but amidst the soft hum of her three children securely fastened in their car seats behind us, she admits, “However, when I get a craving for soda, I visit once every fortnight.” Her husband, Conner, is tucked comfortably in the SUV’s third row, sandwiched between their kids.
In a neat suburban neighborhood development in St. George, approximately a four-hour drive from Salt Lake City, the Leavitt family resides in a humble rental house where they film for the reality show on Hulu titled “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives“, in which Leavitt is the star. It’s a bright, mild winter day in January, and as I navigate my initial Swig order, Leavitt guides me effortlessly, making it feel like a professional consultation. The menu offers “refreshers” without caffeine, “revivers” with caffeine, and “dirty sodas” (I opt not to ask). Leavitt suggests playfully, “Be careful with the order.” I contemplate ordering the Mango Breeze, but Conner proposes Watermelon Sugar instead. Leavitt then decides on the Riptide after learning my preference for Sprite over other sodas. Conner seconds the decision from the trunk area.
In Leavitt’s case, the title could be rephrased as “The Contender” or “The Challenger.” Prior to her role on Secret Lives, the 31-year-old and her fellow Gen Z Mormon mothers had amassed a substantial TikTok fanbase with their synchronized dance videos. Leavitt garnered significant controversy after sharing and defending a video of herself dancing in front of a newborn Liam, who was hospitalized due to RSV. A scandal involving “soft-swinging” in the Utah Mormon community (which included group makeouts, emotional affairs, but no full-blown sex) subsequently made all the women notorious, with Taylor Frankie Paul, the former MomTok leader, receiving particular attention.
When the first season of the show premiered last September, it catapulted the eight MomTokers to the level of Housewives-style reality stardom. However, in a crowd of identical bronde soft-wave extensions, Leavitt’s blonde bob, flipped upward at the ends, seemed to single her out as particularly vilifiable. This was as if her hairstyle announced her intentions regarding the show’s central themes: Who would inherit MomTok now that Paul had been tarnished? The ominous dun-dun-dun ultimatum repeated frequently throughout each episode seemed to pose the question, Can MomTok survive this?
Paul initiates the first episode discussing the turmoil that wrecked his marriage and almost ruined her professional reputation as an influencer, ending with charges of aggravated assault against her disliked boyfriend. According to Leavitt, they used to gather regularly for content creation events. However, this individual is now grappling with severe personal issues. Leavitt expresses worry for Paul’s well-being and the group’s future posting schedule. (It’s worth noting that the rest of the original Secret Lives cast feels implicated but has never confessed to any swinging activities.) “I naturally take charge,” says Leavitt, “if someone isn’t stepping up, I’ll be the one asking, ‘What’s next? What’s our plan?’
Discussing her work on MomTok, Leavitt’s approach can be seen as both essential or casual. She often expresses mixed feelings during discussions, lamenting that the women no longer film together, acknowledging that it’s still about business, “We need to make money,” but also realizing she doesn’t necessarily require their combined reach for success. As the third most prominent member (Paul is first, and Mikayla Matthews, who often shares her health struggles, is second), Leavitt admits that she earns more by focusing on her individual career. She enjoys content creation, seeing it come to life, and going viral, describing this process as almost addictive for her.
Initially, Leavitt is portrayed as the main adversary throughout the series. On-screen, she appears annoyed with Paul over the involvement of MomTok in the scandalous situation, and subsequently takes on a leadership role among the group, voicing her discontent about Paul to other cast members privately. Later, during a gathering where she apologizes for her behavior towards Paul and tries to clarify the marital issues that influenced her actions, Paul reveals that she is experiencing a miscarriage. This emotional moment becomes tense as everyone’s attention shifts to Paul, overshadowing Leavitt. From then on, Leavitt frequently avoids events involving other Mormon Wives: she skips Paul’s baby shower, misses the launch party of her friend Mayci Neeley’s business, and dramatically leaves the group chat. When she does attend, she presents awkward gifts and further distances herself from the group. The season concludes with Leavitt announcing that she is switching from MomTok to homesteading.
As a devoted cinephile, I can’t help but feel that the character played by Leavitt in that season was being portrayed as the villain. In one of her confessional interviews, she admitted that even her own mother felt this way. “Towards the end of the season,” she recounts, “I found myself venting to a friend, saying ‘Why do I feel like I’m the bad guy?’ I didn’t understand why I was feeling this way.” Her friend replied, “Oh, don’t worry about it.” I suspect that everyone involved in the production must have noticed how my story was unfolding.
In a face-to-face conversation, Leavitt is open to sharing her thoughts and feelings. Raised as a Mormon, she abstained from drinking alcohol or swearing, but now she expresses herself with occasional profanity. She discusses money freely; she earns more from her social media platforms than from the show, despite securing a contract for a second season. She admits to the online criticism and reveals which of her co-stars browse Reddit threads about themselves. ” frankly,” she states, “I wouldn’t be shocked if some of the women even contribute to those threads, trying to construct a narrative from them. I’m speaking honestly here.” She adds, “Some of those women are always active online.
In a new season, a typical antagonist could aim for a transformation that wins back the affection of everyone. However, Leavitt doesn’t appear to be hurried about making amends. If the first season revolved around whether MomTok could endure the aftermath of the scandalous swing, the second season, according to Leavitt, explores the question of moving beyond it. Yet, it seems that they can’t in the show’s resumption. Leavitt is no longer part of the digital group chat but participates in real-life group gatherings. On screen, her welcome is frosty. She becomes the confidante for whoever is currently out of favor within the group. In many scenes from the early episodes, filmed right before she gave birth to Billy, she’s consoling the latest MomToker taking over her spot in the limelight. “I understand what it feels like to be isolated from the group,” she explains, “almost as if you’re stranded on an island.” She continues, expressing a desire to comfort others and assure them, “You are so loved.” Despite this, Leavitt notes that there are events in season two that explain why she and Paul still don’t follow each other online. Leavitt mentions that Paul “remains pertinent.
Saint George is noticeably smaller compared to Salt Lake City. Nestled among new strip-mall developments are numerous charming shops. The residence that Leavitt rents is mainly bare, adorned only by the children’s rooms, some Polaroids on the refrigerator door, and a painting of the Provo Mormon temple where she and Conner were married. The kitchen, with Liam’s toddler potty in close proximity to an island, serves as a neutral backdrop for videos. Leavitt’s elder sister was the first to move to Saint George; her decision to follow suit was prompted by her liking of the place. (Leavitt jokingly refers to moving as her “addiction.” Over two years and through two pregnancies, she has moved four times. “I tell people I’m too good at it now,” she says, “I can probably manage to move in a day if needed.”) Upon learning about Leavitt’s relocation, her parents decided to sell their childhood home and purchase property in Saint George instead.
In my personal perspective as a movie critic, Utah County’s rapid growth didn’t quite resonate with me the way it once did. To be honest, I found myself yearning for some detachment from the production. Following my daily chores, our journey took us to my children’s preschool. Upon arrival, I was taken aback mid-sentence by a familiar face – my youngest sister, who happened to be accompanying my elder sister Haley, an 18-month senior of mine. Her kids also attend this preschool. My older sister and I are as different as chalk and cheese, she being introverted while I lean more towards extroversion. Our differences run deep in every aspect.
Conner explained to me later that Whitney has a strong affinity for feminine things and is quite popular among women, whereas Haley isn’t particularly interested in such matters. Whitney craves attention, while Haley tends to shun it.
In a straightforward manner, Leavitt maintains her casual demeanor as she shares numerous details about her background once we’re back at the house. As she tidies onesies and hangs tiny graphic t-shirts, she casually mentions that she is one of five biological siblings and that her parents cared for more than a dozen other children during her upbringing. “My mom was often occupied with court appearances or group therapy sessions with these other kids,” she explains. “I had to take care of things myself because if something wasn’t done, there was no one else to tell me to do it.” She adds, “Not all my siblings are like that, so I can’t say for certain if this self-reliance came from my upbringing. Perhaps it’s a trait God gave me.
Leavitt’s background includes dancing competitively from elementary school through high school and having a strong affinity for dance culture (she rates it as intense as the show “Dance Moms”). She pursued fine arts with a focus on dance at Brigham Young University, but her car insurance became too expensive due to multiple accidents, so she commuted by bike instead. After traveling extensively in Europe and Uganda, she lived in Georgia for her Mormon mission, where she befriended Conner’s family prior to their meeting. This friendship blossomed when they both agreed to act as wingmen on a double date in 2015 with two other individuals who backed out at the last minute. Leavitt worked at a plastic surgeon’s office and now spends 30 minutes every morning under an expensive LED light mask before her children wake up. She only recently gained fame as a reality TV star, which is just one of her many life experiences.
Leavitt acknowledges her talent for creating exceptional TV content, noting the unique challenges of standing out in a world where reality shows like “The Traitors” and “House of Villains” are dominant. However, she emphasizes that their success was not accidental; they deliberately crafted excellent television and enjoyed a successful season. Despite this, Leavitt expresses her concerns about the impact of continuing as a reality star on her relationships with genuine friends, who she feels are being relegated to mere colleagues during production. She admits it’s challenging to separate what is real from what is staged, something she and Mayci have struggled with and still haven’t fully mastered.
In the filming of several season-two scenes, Leavitt collaborated with Miranda McWhorter, who was once an original member of MomTok and now has a role as a friend on Secret Lives. McWhorter had been acquainted with Paul and was involved in the soft-swinging scandal, which is causing other women to question McWhorter’s motives for joining the show at this time. Is she trying to capitalize on their survival of the storm? Leavitt shares that she has also developed a close bond with Demi Engemann, who received Leavitt’s Fruity Pebbles-themed prank gift during season one. “I believe it might come as a surprise to viewers,” says Leavitt, “but Demi felt isolated, and I was just thinking, ‘No, you’re not alone.'” With her new friendships, Leavitt admits, “I’ve guarded my vulnerability more than I did at the start. Perhaps it requires a more business-oriented approach rather than friendship.
In St. George, Leavitt mentions she’s in a phase where she isn’t making new friends. Despite enjoying life in a small town where people know about her reality-TV show, none of them seem to watch it. The only exception appears to be their neighbor who apparently thought they were swingers! (Leavitt laughs at this point.) Meanwhile, Conner works from home, with his managers based in Dubai for a new hedge fund. This allows both of them the flexibility to share child care. He often appears in her videos and can be found pottering around in their kitchen when we spend time together in their living room.
Instead of directly asking, “What’s your wife of nine years like as a director?”, Leavitt jokingly responds, “Ahhh, don’t pry into Conner’s professional life with his spouse!
He exclaims, “Wonderful, truly wonderful, my wife is!” he starts. “Yet, it’s clear she was raised in the world of fine arts. She says things like, ‘Keep your chin up, straighten your back. You’re a bit behind.’ And I’m doing my best! I’m breaking a sweat!
A significant aspect of filming the first season proved disorienting for Leavitt, an element that seems scarcely present in season two – the frequent revisiting of her most troubled marital period. The unexpected relocation to Hawaii in July 2022 wasn’t due to MomTok’s collapse, but rather Conner’s struggle with a porn addiction and his clandestine use of Tinder during their marriage. They stayed in Hawaii for just two months before returning once the show production started in early 2023. On-screen, Conner discussed being sexually assaulted as a child, an event he attributes to his porn addiction. “Conner and I had previously discussed this, and I said it would be very exposing,” she explains. “I knew many people could relate to our story and it could aid a great number of individuals.” She adds, “In the end, I wanted it to be Conner’s choice. I felt that it was more his story than mine, even though it did impact me significantly.
After some time passed since the Tinder controversy and following marriage counseling, Leavitt and Conner appear very bonded. They share playful TikTok videos addressing comments about their relationship being a “lavender marriage.” Leavitt states, “We understand our marriage, and if there are indeed lavender marriages out there, that’s perfectly fine!” In the car, Conner mentions he’s been using a flip phone for a year. He quickly clarifies this is not because he was once caught using a dating app while married.
occasionally, she and Conner scout potential lands that could help bring her homesteading aspirations to life. “I find myself getting more captivated by the idea of homesteading rather than actually doing it,” she admits. “It’s so picturesque, you know?” She explains. “Finding land with a 15-minute drive to Target is like searching for a needle in a haystack. I need my Target!”
By April, just before the second season starts, they had finally bought a fixer-upper that will serve as their home for the time being. “I initially desired Ballerina Farm,” she shares, “but then I realized it might be too much of a hassle. I’m focusing on my acting career at the moment.
As Leavitt explains, acting is her primary focus, with TikTok dances and shows merely taking a back seat. She admits that people tend to dismiss her passion for acting, even her friends and family. This amuses her, she says, because it’s similar to her early belief about social media – that she could make a big impact there. Yet, when she did succeed, her loved ones merely wished her luck.
This individual has attempted auditions for series on Hulu, Netflix, and even the romantic comedy “Office Romance” starring Jennifer Lopez and Brett Goldstein from “Ted Lasso”. However, she didn’t secure the role of J.Lo’s assistant in that particular project. Currently, she’s open to any job offers but her ultimate aspiration lies within the realm of fantasy. She passionately expressed, “I wish for a role in ‘Lord of the Rings’. I’d be thrilled to play one of those elves. I’m deeply captivated by the genre. Whether it’s reading it, watching it, or being part of such a project, I find it utterly enchanting.” She scrutinizes me intently, as if gauging how sincerely I acknowledge her dream. “I’m unsure about the path, but maybe I could become the first reality star to transition into successful acting.
Conner momentarily stops attending to Sedona after she nipped her tongue. “Indeed, Whitney’s acting skills are remarkable,” he says. He then flashes a smile at his spouse. “Gosh, you truly are exceptional.” Addressing her, he invites, “Could you please move closer to the microphone and repeat those compliments?
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2025-05-05 15:55