Well, folks, here we are. Another day, another catastrophic data breach! This time, four BILLION—yes, you read that right, BILLION—Americans are now at risk of identity theft. 🎉 Who needs privacy anyway, right? So, what happened? Oh, just a minor “whoopsie” at a firm that handles employee benefits. Nothing major… just your personal info out there for the taking! 😱
In the latest shocking news (as if we need more of that), VeriSource Services Inc. (VSI), based in Houston, has confirmed a cybersecurity breach that exposed the personal data of FOUR MILLION individuals. No big deal. It’s only your name, address, Social Security number, date of birth, and… well, your gender. Because who doesn’t want their entire life posted on the internet for the right (or wrong) people to see? 🕵️♂️
According to a very official-sounding filing with the Office of the Maine Attorney General (because, of course, we’re getting legal here), VSI had to admit that a sneaky little “unknown actor” got into their database and had a field day. They were very good at snooping around, too—everything from your birthdate to your social security number, all ready for the picking! 🥳
“On February 28, 2024, VSI noticed something a little fishy going on with their systems…” (Ah, the classic “oops, we didn’t see this coming” excuse). “Once they figured it out, they sprang into action, locking down their systems faster than a raccoon in a garbage can.” 🙄 That’s when they called in a fancy tech firm to figure out exactly how much of your life had just been sold to the highest bidder. (Spoiler: it’s not looking great.)
“By April 17, 2025, VSI finished its very thorough review. How long did it take? Only about 14 months to figure out who might be affected. No rush.” 🕰️
VSI specializes in benefits management for companies (because who doesn’t want to trust them with their deepest secrets?). Think COBRA administration, ACA reporting, eligibility monitoring, and all that other stuff your employer barely understands. The company promises that they “immediately” notified customers of the breach (because everyone loves getting bad news in the mail). They’re even offering identity theft protection and a generous $1 million insurance policy! Aww, how sweet… nothing says “We care” like a fancy insurance plan! 💸
But don’t worry, they’re not just sitting back. VSI assures us that there’s “no evidence” of any actual misuse of your personal data. YET. But hey, they’re working with the FBI and tightening up security. Next time, they’ll be sure to lock the door BEFORE the burglars come in. 🔒
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2025-05-03 00:42