SUI Skyrockets (Then Faceplants): Crypto ETF Antics You Can’t Unsee

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As morning broke in the land of cryptomaniacs, a shockwave rippled through the Sui community—though admittedly, the wave crashed somewhere between an espresso shot and a bored yawn not seen since the great cabbage surplus of ’26.

Down peculiar and foggy avenues, our protagonist, Sui—the eternally aspiring understudy to Solana (SOL)—performed a suspiciously dramatic leap in price on a Thursday, like a ballet dancer who’d just spotted a stray ruble on the stage. The news? 21Shares, a shadowy cabal claiming to manage ETFs (exchange-traded funds, for those who skipped class), filed for a spot SUI ETF on American soil. Cue the invisible orchestra!

Before the curtain lifted, the observant might have noticed SUI languishing at $3.56—not quite the price of a Moscow taxi to the center, but respectable. Then, with more enthusiasm than a cat at its first masquerade ball, the price soared to $3.75. Champagne, anyone? 🍾 But no sooner had revelers toasted, SUI tiptoed back down to $3.57. A dizzying rise and fall worthy of any tragicomedy. 🎭

Enter onto the stage, Duncan Moir—the philosophical president of 21Shares—with remarks dripping in conviction:

“Since our earliest research into Sui, we believed it could become one of the most exciting blockchains in the industry, and we’re seeing that thesis play out.”

Ambitious words, Duncan. Some said Don Quixote was “exciting” too. Saddle up, Sancho!

Meanwhile, opportunists from Canary Capital, determined not to miss a single absurdist act, scurried in with yet another SUI ETF filing. As of now, more than 70 such applications rest in a bureaucratic pile so tall it would blot out the sun—compiled dutifully by James Seyffart, Bloomberg Intelligence’s own resident analyst/adventure-seeker.

In case you fell asleep at your ledger: The SEC, keeper of the cryptic keys, finally gave Bitcoin ETFs their blessing in January 2024 (approximately twelve years late, by some estimates), unfastening purse strings so wildly even Ethereum must’ve blushed when its own ETFs got the nod last July.

And thus, the great Sui ETF farce continues. Buy the rumor, sell the punchline. 😏

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2025-05-02 22:02