In a move that surprised absolutely no one who talks exclusively in tickers and recharges with Red Bull, Pizzino has watched Bitcoin march triumphantly into the $90,000 range—a number so large, it’s almost as if Bitcoin has taken a liking to stretching. And why not? At this point, Bitcoin breaking records is as predictable as a towel being handy in a crisis. 🧻
Leveraging the ancient wisdom of monthly highs (archived somewhere between horoscopes and weather forecasts), our analyst notes that Bitcoin has not only karate-chopped through March’s summit, but has also thrown a pie in the face of every previous bearish signal from December, January, and March of 2024. Forget cautious pessimism: Pizzino says the bears have clocked out, gone home, and are probably enjoying reruns of “Antiques Roadshow.” You might say bulls now rule the pasture—and the disco floor. 🪩
US Dollar Decides to Try Yoga, Becomes Flexible
The US Dollar Index (DXY) is embracing its softer side, recently curling into its lowest weekly close in nearly three years—which, in financial terms, is roughly the time it takes to realize you’ve lost your wallet. According to Pizzino, this dollar yoga session could be the cosmic nudge Bitcoin needs to continue impersonating a bottle rocket.
With the dollar limboing its way downward against a basket delicately woven from international currencies (who are just happy to be invited), history whispers: every time the DXY does this, Bitcoin goes out on the town in glitter and moonboots. According to the charts, the recovery party isn’t over—it just changed venues.
Tether Loses Its Grip, Everyone Gets Braver
On the stablecoin side, Pizzino points out that Tether (USDT) is starting to look less like a safe haven and more like your cousin’s inflatable pool: deflating at inopportune times. As its dominance wobbles below crucial support (without spilling the punch yet), it seems traders are dumping their arm floaties and swimming into the deep end—Bitcoin first.
USDT is still above the crucial 50% line, but it’s teetering like a caffeinated flamingo. The receding Tether tide suggests people are bored with safety and hungry for risk, which in crypto, is as close to normal as it gets. Pair that with all the technical shenanigans, and Pizzino sees even more upside for Bitcoin in the near future— provided the universe doesn’t swap out his charts for interpretive dance. 🕺
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2025-04-29 21:00