Ethereum Is About to Fry Your Eyebrows Off, Say Wild-Eyed Analysts 🚨🤑

by

If you reckon you’ve seen wild swings before, kindly grab your suspenders, because Ethereum (that infamous rascal of the crypto rivers) managed to fall out of its hammock, slip below $1,400 for the first time since folks still cared about NFTs, then up and clamber right back above $1,600 faster than a whittler chases a rabbit outta his garden. Last week’s tumble, blamed—rightly or wrongly—on President Trump’s latest tariff shenanigans, took the second-biggest coin all the way down to greet its 2018 high and relive those sepia-toned glory days.

Ethereum Clings To The Side of the Cliff (Again)

After an impromptu bungee jump to $1,385 on Wednesday, ETH heard the call of the wild (or maybe just some nervous traders with weak hands) and boomeranged up 10% following the White House’s 90-day “tariff time-out.” It even leaned over the edge of $1,700 for a look, before deciding the air was too thin and ducked back down for a strong cup of volatility in the $1,400-$1,500 saloon on Thursday.

But by the weekend, the King of Altcoins was back pretending it owns the place, swaggering between $1,580 and $1,680 like a Sunday preacher throwing shade at the collection plate. Why? Because apparently $1,600 is now the “4-ply, double-stitched diamond-grade support line”—at least until next week when everyone picks a new number out of the hat.

Onlookers like Ted Pillows—no relation to MyPillow, presumably—reckon ETH’s about to run clean out of excuses. He figures that if the coin can “behave” in the $1,550-$1,600 corral, and if global markets decide not to have a nervous breakdown, then maybe, just maybe, we’ll see ETH bolt through that $1,670 downtrend like a jug band running for the last slice of pie. Of course, that sets up the stage for a shiny 20% leap—toward the mythical land of $2,000. Pack snacks.

Is Ethereum Out Of The Haunted Swamp Yet?

According to Merlijn The Trader (which honestly sounds like a wizard who moonlights on weekends), Ethereum’s been paddling down a two-month river of tears, but if a miracle wind blows and “all we need now is volume” shows up, ETH could bust through the $1,690 dam and fire upstream to $2,700. (No word on whether Merlijn’s crystal ball is available for purchase.)

He also claims the “double top formation” has been completed, which is technical trader-speak for “ETH got knocked around and lived to tell about it,” with the $1,432 bogeyman now slain. The coin flicked its cape, recovered from the dip, and is now supposedly primed for that “face-melting rally” nobody expects, except for everyone on Twitter. $4,000? That’s just the opening act, apparently.

Meanwhile—somewhere between an abacus and a dartboard—Rekt Capital notes that Ethereum’s “Dominance” (which is like being the tallest one-room schoolhouse in a town of five) recently slumped from 20% to 8%. Whenever it’s hit the “sad green zone” (7.5%-8.25%), the coin pulled itself together and stormed back with extra bluster, usually while altcoin holders fan themselves vigorously.

And what of the present? Well, while the world frets, curses, and dreams of yachts, ETH is quietly trading at $1,609, which is down an entire 1% today. Don’t spend those savings all in one place.

Read More

2025-04-16 13:17