Crypto’s Wild Ride: Next Stop, the Moon? 🚀🌕

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Bitcoin, bless its heart, had a little pep in its step this week. Up 7%! You’d think it was trying out for the Olympics or something. Arthur Hayes, that guy from BitMEX (you know, the one who always has an opinion), thinks the US bond market is about to throw a tantrum. And when America cries, Bitcoin apparently cheers. He calls it “up only mode.” Sounds like something you’d find in a washing machine, doesn’t it? 🧺

Glassnode, which sounds suspiciously like a fancy bathroom fixture, claims Bitcoin’s built a fortress at $79,000. Forty thousand Bitcoins just hanging out there, like they’re waiting for the bus. John Bollinger, the Bollinger Bands guy (who knew bands could be so complicated?), also sees a “classic Bollinger Band W bottom.” Which, I’m sure, is thrilling news for people who understand what that means. For the rest of us, it’s just another reason to feel inadequate. 🤷‍♀️

Chart of Something Important

Everyone’s watching the US dollar index (DXY), which is apparently feeling a little faint, trading below 100. If the dollar gets any weaker, Bitcoin might start offering it a piggyback ride. 🪙

If Bitcoin can just hold on tight (like me after three cups of coffee), it might give the other cryptocurrencies a little boost. It’s like Bitcoin’s the popular kid in school, and the altcoins are just hoping to get invited to the cool parties. 🎉

Bitcoin price analysis

On April 12th, Bitcoin finally managed to climb over a resistance line. It’s like watching a toddler scale a jungle gym – you’re simultaneously impressed and terrified. Is this the end of the corrective phase? Or just the beginning of a very long, very expensive rollercoaster ride? 🎢

Another Chart, Probably

The bears (those grumpy creatures) aren’t going to give up easily. They’re trying to drag the price back below the 20-day exponential moving average ($82,885). Which sounds like something you’d find in a physics textbook, not a financial forecast. If the bears succeed, Bitcoin could plummet to $78,500. Which, let’s be honest, is still a lot of money. 💰

But the buyers have plans! They’re going to defend the 20-day EMA, like it’s the last donut in the box. If the price bounces off that EMA, it’s a sign that people are buying the dips instead of panicking and selling everything. That means a possible rally to $89,000, and then, gasp, $95,000! Imagine all the avocado toast you could buy! 🥑

Yet Another Chart

The 20-EMA is sloping upwards, and the relative strength index (RSI) is in positive territory. All of which means… something good, probably. The bulls are trying to turn the resistance line into support. It’s like redecorating, but with money. They might face some resistance at $89,000, but they’re likely to push through to the $92,000 to $95,000 zone. Fingers crossed! 🙏

If the bulls fail, though, and the price plummets, well, we’re back to $78,500. Which, again, is still a lot of money. Maybe I should just stick to collecting stamps. 💌

Hyperliquid price analysis

Hyperliquid (HYPE) closed above the 50-day SMA ($15.14) on April 11th. I’m starting to think these cryptocurrencies are just making up names now. It then reached the overhead resistance of $17.35 on April 12th. Will it break through? Or will it just sit there, taunting us? 🤔

Chart of Hyperliquid, I Guess

The 20-day EMA ($13.84) has started to turn up, and the RSI is near 56. The buyers have the edge! At least, until they don’t. The sellers are trying to defend the $17.35 resistance. But if the bulls win, HYPE could rally to $21, and then to $25! That’s enough to buy a small island, right? 🏝️

Of course, if the price turns down from $17.35 and breaks below the 20-day EMA, we’re back to square one. The pair could fall to $12, which is apparently where the buyers are waiting. Like vultures, but with better intentions. 🦅

Another Hyperliquid Chart

The pair has pulled back to the 20-EMA, which is a critical support. If the price bounces off, it’s a buy signal! The bulls will try to break through that $17.35 barrier again. If they succeed, the pair could rise to $21. There’s minor resistance at $18, but it’s likely to be crossed. So, basically, buy, buy, buy! (But don’t blame me if you lose all your money.) 💸

If the sellers manage to pull the price below the 20-EMA, the bullish momentum weakens. The pair could then descend to the 50-SMA. Which, as we all know, is not good. 👎

Ondo price analysis

Ondo (ONDO) has broken out of the downtrend line. The bears are losing their grip! Or maybe they just went out for coffee. 🐻☕

Ondo Chart, I Suppose

The recovery is facing selling near $0.96 but may find support at the 20-day EMA ($0.83). If the price bounces off that EMA, the bulls will try to drive ONDO above $0.96 again. If they succeed, the pair could rally toward $1.20! That’s almost enough to buy a decent sandwich. 🥪

Of course, the sellers have other plans. They’ll try to pull the price back below the 20-day EMA. If they can pull it off, the pair could drop to $0.79, and then to $0.68. Which is just depressing. 🌧️

Another Ondo Chart

The 4-hour chart shows that the pair is facing selling in the $0.93 to $0.96 resistance zone. Buyers need to keep the price above the 20-EMA to stay in control. If the price rebounds off the 20-EMA, the possibility of a break above $0.96 increases. The pair may then climb to $1.05, and later to $1.20. Maybe I’ll actually be able to afford that avocado toast! 🤞

But if the price skids below the 20-EMA, demand dries up. The pair may then descend to the 50-SMA. Which, as we’ve established, is not a good look. 🙅‍♀️

Render price analysis

Render (RNDR) has reached the overhead resistance of $4.22. Where the bears are expected to put up a fight. It’s like a cage match, but with charts and graphs instead of muscles and sweat. 🤼‍♂️

Render Chart

The moving averages are on the verge of a bullish crossover. And the RSI has risen into the positive zone. The buyers have an advantage! If the price rises above $4.22, RNDR will complete a double-bottom pattern. There’s minor resistance at $5, but it’s likely to be crossed. The pair could then climb to the pattern target of $5.94! Retirement, here I come! 🏖️

But if the price turns down sharply from $4.22 and breaks below the moving averages, it’s a range-bound action. Which is just boring. 😐

Another Render Chart

The pair is facing selling at $4.06, but the pullback is likely to find support at the 20-EMA. If the price rebounds off the 20-EMA, sentiment remains positive. That improves the chances of a break above $4.22. The pair may face resistance between $4.60 and $5. But if the price doesn’t dip back below $4.22, it’s the start of a new up move! To the moon! 🚀

//s3.cointelegraph.com/uploads/2025-04/01962ff0-8903-7d68-9676-a7f9c9b5aaad” alt=”Kaspa Chart”>

The 20-day EMA ($0.07) has started to turn up, and the RSI is in the positive territory. The path of least resistance is to the upside! If buyers drive the price above $0.08, KAS will complete a double-bottom pattern. This has a target of $0.12! I might actually be able to afford a cup of coffee! ☕

But if the price turns down from $0.08 and breaks below the 20-day EMA, it’s a range formation. The pair may swing between $0.08 and $0.05 for some time. Which is just…meh. 🤷

Another Kaspa Chart

The pair has turned down from $0.08 but is likely to find support at the 20-EMA. If the price rebounds off the 20-EMA, the pair could rally to the top of the range. Which is a crucial resistance. If buyers overcome the barrier, the pair could start a new upmove toward $0.09. I’m cautiously optimistic! 😌

If the price turns down and breaks below $0.07, the pair is stuck inside the range for a while longer. So, basically, it’s all a gamble. As always. Good luck! You’ll need it. 🍀

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2025-04-13 23:38