🚨 Pi Network’s New Ad Platform Makes Developers Rich While You’re Still Checking KYC 🤑

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Monday, April 15 2024

Weight: Don’t ask 😫
Calories: Too many Pi-shaped cookies 🍪
Apps monetized: 0
Developer earnings: Still waiting for KYC approval (v.g.)

Darlings, absolutely MASSIVE news! 📢 Pi Network has finally launched something that isn’t just another “coming soon” promise (though frankly, at this point, who’s counting? 🙄). It’s their fancy new Ad Network where developers can actually make money. Yes, real money! Or well, Pi coins, which is almost the same thing… sort of… maybe? 🤔

Must remember to:
– Stop refreshing Pi browser every 5 minutes
– Actually build an app instead of just dreaming about it
– Finally complete that bloody KYC

So apparently, this whole thing started with just 5 apps (v. exclusive, like getting into Bridget’s birthday party). Now they’re opening the velvet rope for everyone else, provided you meet their requirements (much like trying to get into that posh gym where everyone pretends to exercise). 💅

Benefits for developers are supposedly ENORMOUS (like my last phone bill). They can earn Pi based on attention their apps get, which is perfect for attention-seekers like me. Though between us, darlings, anything that helps cover the cost of my server bills while I pretend to be a tech entrepreneur is absolutely fabulous! 💁‍♀️

For us common Pioneers (God, I hate that term, makes me feel like I should be wearing khakis and carrying a compass), it means more places to spend our precious Pi. As if I needed more ways to waste my virtual currency when I can’t even manage my real money properly! 🙈

Current Pi price: $0.6676 (about the cost of a decent bottle of wine, which I desperately need after trying to understand all this tech stuff)

Market position: #31 (like my position in the queue for Daniel Cleaver’s attention)

v.g. = very good
v. = very

Must dash! Need to figure out how to build an app before everyone else makes their millions. Or at least before my mother calls again asking if I’ve gotten a “proper job” yet. 🏃‍♀️

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2025-04-12 10:52