Wall Street’s New Meme Coin? S&P 500 Goes Bananas

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The S&P 500—usually as dignified as a librarian in polished shoes—has been doing its best impression of a mischievous meme coin lately. Yes, that’s right, folks! Volatility has kicked the door down and is rummaging through the index’s fridge at three in the morning, seeking leftover pizza. 😆

In fact, Bloomberg’s Eric Balchunas has noted that our dear old S&P 500 is now putting on a bigger show than Bitcoin, the largest and most headline-hungry cryptocurrency of them all. One simply can’t help but picture both brews swirling around in a hats-off competition to see which can unhinge more jaws.

The S&P 500 is as volatile as bitcoin now

— Eric Balchunas (@EricBalchunas) April 10, 2025

After the latest dramatic tumble, our beloved index has since logged six consecutive days of eyebrow-raising swings above 6%. Earlier this fine morning, it briefly plummeted to a dizzying low of 5,115, dropping 6.14% (someone pass the smelling salts, please). Although it’s since scrambled off the floor, it’s still sporting an unfortunate frown of roughly 3.5%. 🤦‍♂️

Some might say the S&P 500 has left its sensible side at home: It’s now managed to fall five out of the last six trading days. Even with that rollercoaster-of-a-rally on Wednesday, it’s still down around 14% from its February peak.

Despite some cheery inflation numbers that arrived today like a friendly kitten bearing cupcakes, the bears have reclaimed the driver’s seat—probably humming ominous tunes about trade tariffs with China. Meanwhile, Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent, in a display of calm worthy of a Zen master meditating by a lion’s den, shrugs at the storm, claiming there’s nothing unusual to see here. Move along, folks, move along. 🤷‍♂️

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2025-04-10 21:34