Why Crypto Investors Must Be Typing “Take Me Back” on Their Keyboards. Seriously.

What to know:

  • BlackRock’s IBIT led the great ETF exodus.
  • Withdrawals occurred while prices performed their own version of a magic trick — “now you see it, now you don’t!”

It appears that crypto investors are pulling a Batman, disappearing into the night, right after President “Not-Such-A-Fan-of-China” Trump announced a thoroughly confusing 90-day tariff pause. Who knew abstaining from tariffs on most countries would also inspire a mass exodus from Bitcoin (BTC) and Ether (ETH) ETFs? 🤷‍♂️

On Wednesday, our poor little 11 Bitcoin ETFs cried a collective $127.2 million into their cups, with BlackRock’s IBIT feeling the brunt—$89.7 million vanished like socks in a dryer. This marked a five-day streak where funds shed a shocking $722 million, a sum rivaling many people’s annual salaries. Keep that cash close, folks! 🤑

Ether ETFs got the memo too, managing to convince nine entire funds to cough up a net outflow of $11.2 million. It’s like watching a group of friends leave a bar, only to scroll through their phones and realize they forgot their wallets. Oops!

It seems that U.S.-China trade tensions have left investors feeling a tad jittery, prompting crypto enthusiasts to sell off every asset, seeking safety under the comfort of actual cash. Who knew cash could be the ‘cool kid’ at this party? 💸

Later in the day, the markets rallied as if they had just landed a killer cliffhanger—the pause on tariffs gave investors a reason to breathe again. Well, almost everyone. Sorry, China; no vacation for you! In a bold move, Trump decided to jack up their tariff rate to 125%. Talk about a spicy punishment. 🌶️

Even still, Bitcoin, like a true champion, soared over 8% to $83,500, all while ether made its impressive leap, up 13% to $1,770. The altcoin market joined the party, doing its version of the Electric Slide. Meanwhile, the Nasdaq 100 jumped over 12%, marking its biggest one-day percentage gain in decades. Bring on the confetti! 🎉

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2025-04-10 10:46